Loneliness My Life 05 MAY 2007

You know, I never used to be a person that put much emphasis on relationships. I’m by nature a lone wolf that is more than happy to chug along at their own pace, all on their lonesome. I’m almost never bored because I always find something to keep myself busy with. Thats just how I’ve always been and probably always will be.

But after three years of being in a tightly knitted relationship, one of the hardest things to hit me after the break-up is this completely unexpected feeling of loneliness I now have. Not loneliness in terms of hanging out with people, that I can always cure by visiting a friend – instead I’m referring to the loneliness and emptiness that my life has now taken on.

Basically a relationship is about sharing your life with another – almost as if the two lives intertwine like vines and now with the one branch gone, there’s a real feeling of emptiness that has crept upon me. No longer do I have someone that I dote all my time on, or have that special little place in my heart for. There isn’t someone you can contact in the small hours of the night just to talk to; there isn’t anyone whose life you have take into account when planning your evenings anymore. It turns out that there isn’t anything more rewarding in life than caring for another more than what you care for yourself. And I’m finding that out first hand at last I guess.

So, it is really strange for me to be talking like this, but it turns out relationships are far more important in one’s life than what I used to give credit for in the past. And yes, I am lonely now, but I know that if something will turn up for me in the future if its meant to be.

That much I’m certain of.

lonely man on island

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About Craig Lotter

South African software architect and developer at Touchwork. Husband to a cupcake baker and father to two little girls. I don't have time for myself any more.