Checking Up on Me General Nonsense 17 NOV 2007

Cellphone ReaderSo the big tabloid story out of England this week has of course been the dumping of Prince Harry by Zimbabwean-born Chelsy Davy. Of course the reasons offered for the split by the various tabloid rags have varied quite considerably, but the most used one seems to revolve around the fact that Chelsy has become sick of Harry’s boozy antics and lack of commitment. His clearly wandering eyes, and date with other women haven’t helped matters either of course.

And then there are the reports that she dumped him after finding incriminating SMSses on his phone from another woman – which provided the fodder for today’s post.

A side note to today’s topic for interest’s sake: Did you know that almost 90% of divorces occur thanks to incriminating messages found on a partner’s phone or in their email? It would seem that because technology is so good at storing things these days, the chances of being caught out have risen exponentially. The flipside to this of course is the fact that it has also become a lot easier to cheat nowadays. You can simply text a person instead of running the risk of making contact with them in person – – no one will ever see you do it.

Another note, just in case you like reading these notes. I have no doubt in my mind that Harry is guilty of all Chelsy’s accusations. The young man has money, power and influence – of course he is going to be messing around. Duh! Too bad he is beginning to inherit his papa’s infamous bad looks rather quickly :)

Anyway, back to today’s post. After hearing that I could not help but think back to how angry that used to make me, back in my old toxic relationship from a while back. My ex was a particularly jealous type and would constantly …check up on me’, just to make sure I wasn’t fooling around behind her back (or in front of her for that matter). Now I don’t really have issues surrounding privacy in a relationship – my partner is more than welcome to access my stuff, but there is nothing more infuriating if they are accessing my stuff because they feel the need to make certain that I’m being faithful.

I would constantly be harassed over any communication with any woman whatsoever. At first I would argue back and try and persuade her that she’s talking absolute rubbish but eventually I got so sick and tired of it, tired of the accusations, tired of constant monitoring, that the minute she started up on one of her rants that I would instantaneously go into a fit of rage and walk out on her.

It angers me to great extent when a person accuses me of something that I am innocent of. Particularly in terms of a relationship which is something I take extremely seriously. I don’t believe in …open relationships’. For me a relationship is a serious matter and I abhor it when a person accuses me of basically not …sticking to the rules’ of closed relationship.

If you want to monitor my actions and read my messages, no problem, feel free to go ahead. But don’t dare do those things because you want to …check up on me’. I’m afraid that just isn’t the way to go.

If you have suspicions, make sure you have your facts and proof straight before bringing it up – otherwise you are just going to cause your partner to feel a lot of resentment towards you and as far as I’m concerned, the minute resentment is born, the minute the relationship weakens.

If you trust me don’t check up on me. Trust me, I’m not checking up on you.

My rant over, it is just a pity that most of today’s society, both men and women, are pigs and probably do need to be checked up on anyway. So my post is kind of counter-intuitive, I know. Guess that’s why I’ll label this post under MY LIFE :)

P.S. Yes, I know that it got posted under General Nonsense, but only because it doesn’t quite fit into the My Life category. Perhaps I need a new category for all my relationship-based musings?

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About Craig Lotter

South African software architect and developer at Touchwork. Husband to a cupcake baker and father to two little girls. I don't have time for myself any more.