Tae Bo Dodo My Life | Sport & Health 29 NOV 2007

Tae BoSo, as promised on Tuesday, I did end up going to Katabox last night (Tae Bo with a different names for legal purposes, just in case you aren’t following me) and did in fact return in one, breathing piece. However, that is more due to a poorly prepared class than my physical prowess I’m afraid.

It turns out that last night’s class was the first for the 17:45 time slot, and as such, they had an outsider come and host the class for the first time. This nancy pants was one of those nonces that wear itsy bitsy little spandex shorts to emphasize their …package’, in the hopes it make them look better than the rest of us. The guy did however start off in the worst way possible. First he bragged about being one of the first Tae Bo instructors in South Africa, having trained personally under old Billy Blanks in the States (or Montreal – I had switched off at that stage already), before going straight into an apology for being a little unfit after not having given a class for a while (the guy was sporting a belly for goodness sake! The only thing he had was well-developed thighs – but the scrawniest little calves ever seen on a man-child), and then bitching about the fact that Virgin Active doesn’t support MP3s, meaning he has to slap together something using his CDs. Oh, and he arrived a little late, so we didn’t get to start on time either.

All of the above meant that we were subjected to a very slow, interrupted and generally incoherent class, with no flow between sets, let alone any direction or set – sequence whatsoever – and the fact that the guy was having trouble with the microphone didn’t help his cause either. It was probably the worst class I have ever attended, and that is saying a lot because I have attended quite a few over the years, ever since Claire got me into it way back when we were still training at Aquarius Gym.

But that all said, I’m actually thanking my lucky stars that the class was as bad as it was, thank goodness. My body quickly showed just how inflexible it currently is, leaving me looking like a complete uncoordinated and ungraceful fool on all the aerobic movements and don’t even get me started on my poor kicking form. I was extremely heavy on my feet and not moving well at all, all compounded by the fact that my strapped left knee is still not up to the challenge of fully supporting my now rather hefty weight. :(

Oh, and I even managed to develop a new complex about my body thanks to the class as well. I haven’t trained in front of mirrors since my karate days with Shihan Hennie Bosman back at the Welgemoed dojo, and even then you were wearing a full length dogi. In fact, the last time I saw myself train in a mirror wearing shorts WERE those days back at Aquarius (round about when I still clocked in at a lightweight 65 kgs!) Bloody hell! My thighs look like those of a cow! It’s almost as if I’m walking around on tree stumps for legs. Very unnerving, very unattractive and very problematic. Next class I’m wearing long shorts dammit!

Alright, so I’ve griped, moaned and complained this entire post so far, but just how much did I enjoy the experience? –

I flippin’ LOVED it!

It was so awesome to do something in a class environment again, and I didn’t realize just how much I’ve missed doing things like this. I am oh so definitely doing this the next time I can make one of their rather limited time slots! :)

(It also helped that I wasn’t the only guy in the class last night. There were at least four or five of us in a fairly small class, something I wasn’t expecting having seen a bit of Tuesday’s class where the studio was packed with women and only one old guy was there to hold the manly name up high. I’ve been the only guy in classes before – and must admit to it being rather unnerving!)

So, it would seem that I DO have something new to throw into my gym routine now, so hopefully all these new additions to my routine are going to keep me fired up to continue riding this fitness fetish that is seemingly trying grab hold of me at the moment!

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About Craig Lotter

South African software architect and developer at Touchwork. Husband to a cupcake baker and father to two little girls. I don't have time for myself any more.