The Woman and the Bottle Jokes & other Funny Stuff 22 FEB 2008

Power WomanOn a cold Monday morning, the sky filled with mist and icy daggers, a man and a woman are involved in a violent car accident in which both their cars are written off but miraculously both of them are spared and neither is too seriously injured.

As they pull themselves from the wreckage, the man begins yelling and complaining about women drivers. Hearing this, the woman responds calmly with “So, you are a man. That is interesting.”

“Wow, both of our cars are totaled and yet we are both completely unhurt. This must be a divine sign from God that we should be friends and live the rest of our lives in peace.”

Flattered, the man replies, “That is true, I most definitely agree with that one. This must be an act of God and like you say, we should celebrate our good fortune by living in peace and being friends for the rest of our days. Nevertheless, YOU are still at fault. Women should NOT be allowed to drive!”

Undaunted, the woman continues, “Look! Another miracle! Even though my car is completely wrecked, this bottle of wine didn’t break! That is virtually impossible! Again, God must be saying that he wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune!”

The man, flustered by the woman’s calmness, accepts the bottle as she hands it to him, nods his head in agreement and proceeds to open the bottle of wine and drink half of it before handing it back to the woman.

However, on receiving the bottle back from the man, the woman calmly puts the cap back on and simply hands it back.

“Huh? Aren’t you going to have any then?” the man asked incredulously. “No”, the woman replied. “I think I will just sit here and wait for the cops to arrive…”

MORAL OF THE STORY: Women are generally clever, evil bitches. Don’t mess with them. Ever.

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About Craig Lotter

South African software architect and developer at Touchwork. Husband to a cupcake baker and father to two little girls. I don't have time for myself any more.