Sample Please My Life 24 MAR 2008

Red CrossI despise going to the doctor or hospital, simple as that. I always leave it right until I am half dead and absolutely have to go, and then usually only at the bequest of my loved ones. So, as my sickness took hold last week and gripped me tightly, it was no surprise that I managed to piss Chantelle completely off by not going to see a doctor. Of course, I couldn’t leave her upset with me, so to make her happy I found myself in the waiting room of the Tygervalley Intercare Medi-clinic last Thursday afternoon, patiently paging through a copy of Runner’s World, Top Billing and Marie Claire. Yes, as always, it was a looooong wait – and I didn’t help things by just rocking up without an appointment either!

As it was, I was lucky enough to get a spot with doctor Wolvaardt (who I funnily enough have been to once or twice in the last couple of years) so after a bit of a wait I was ushered into his office, only to recoil in horror when he faced me looking like a half rotting zombie monster. Jokingly, he explained to me that he had come off his bicycle during a training ride last week, hence the rearranged facial tissue!

So I sat down, did the small talk thing by admiring his photo detailing his ascent of Mt. Kilimanjaro and his Carol Boyes inbox before getting down to business and explaining my symptoms to him. His initial response did not exactly invoke a sense of confidence in me as he immediately whisked me out to a different room explaining that it could be jaundice and that they would need a urine sample from me just to check. Damn. I haven’t done one of those in years.

I must say, I was thoroughly impressed by the advances in the technology behind urine sample collection. I remember (not fondly) those tiny little plastic cups they used to hand you that were always too small and always caused you to splash all over the place but never in the damn container. Nowadays you get a large funnel shaped glass which is large enough to hold the largest of samples and designed in a way that you really have to be an idiot not to get it right the first time. Thoroughly impressive :)

As it was, the results take less than a couple of seconds to retrieve and much to my relief, it showed up all good for me. The rest of the tests were fairly simple and in the end the doctor diagnosed me with a simple viral infection, hence the constantly changing symptoms. As a little extra, he also checked out my blood sugar level, which yielded a satisfactory result so that I could finally get back to Chantelle and reaffirm with her that there is no problem on that front either.

So after a lengthy examination, I got booked off, given a prescription for some medicine and sent on my way… just in time to waste away my long weekend in bed! :(

Not that I did of course ;)

About Craig Lotter

South African software architect and developer at Touchwork. Husband to a cupcake baker and father to two little girls. I don't have time for myself any more.