Is it the Shoes?!? My Life 27 JUL 2008

Smart ShoesSo last weekend I had to go shoe shopping. As I mentioned before on these very pages, the only pair of smart black shoes, my trusty old Bronx look-alikes, gave up the ghost on Andrea’s wedding day. And being the impatient man that I am, I immediately tossed them away and as Murphy’s Law would have it, I needed some smart shoes almost straight away!

Now I hate shoe shopping (as much as I hate clothing shopping) and if left to my own devices, will simply walk into a shoe shop, look at shoes that might fit, moderately appeal to me and seem affordable, and walk out with the first pair that I try on.

Obviously this then explains why Chantelle is less than impressed by my current foot wardrobe.

So determined to see the process through and ensure I get smart shoes befitting a man close to his thirties instead of his early twenties (as what I would have gone for), Chantelle joined in on the expedition and off we drove to the trusty old Shoe City, buried deep in Northumberland Street, Bellville, last Sunday.

Admittedly I have a thing against smart men’s shoes. I don’t like shoes that seem to flat. I don’t like shoes which have too high a heel. I don’t like shoes with extended toes. I despise any type of shoe that ends in a point. I don’t like square cut toes either. So, you can imagine that Chantelle did indeed have her work cut out for her that fateful Sunday afternoon.

However, luckily for her I was not particularly in the mood to shop, didn’t want to be there in the first place, but damnit, knew I desperately needed the new shoes – all of which translates into Chantelle basically getting free reign in dressing up my toes!

This would also then explain why I found myself trying on the flattest, fake wood finish soled, elongated toe shoes I have ever laid eyes on, let alone slipped my foot into. Entirely not happy with this aberration on my foot, I continuously questioned Chantelle on the choice, if it looks good and most importantly, aren’t the toes too bloody long?

Tired of my constant nattering, Chantelle turned and stepped away and I got back to taking off the shoes, when all of a sudden I heard her burst out laughing behind me. And when questioning her why, I soon found myself smiling broadly as well.

Just behind us, another couple were trying on shoes, and once again, the man kept asking the woman, “aren’t these toes too long?”, to which the woman simply turned around and said “whatever!”.

After the good laugh and the assurance that I am now not the only one who worries about these long toed freaks of shoe nature, I took a final look in the mirror, put the shoes back in their box, and tucked it under my arm – making one certain Chantelle Montgomery possibly the most satisfied woman in the world at that moment in time.

Admittedly, the shoes are comfortable.

Oh yes, and seeing as she was on the ball, she immediately followed up on her success by shoving a box of black leather sneakers in my hand, which I duly tried on and ended up buying as well. Just goes to show how much I didn’t want to be there in the first place!

Oh and admittedly, those shoes are comfortable too.

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About Craig Lotter

South African software architect and developer at Touchwork. Husband to a cupcake baker and father to two little girls. I don't have time for myself any more.