Now That’s Not Cricket My Life 05 SEP 2008

SpurThe South African family’s favourite restaurant, Spur is simply not playing fair I declare! It is just not cricket to stick a giant advert featuring their new range of delectable double stacked, hunga busting burgers onto the very table itself, making it almost impossible to ignore and thus almost forcing your hand to pick one of these supposed gigantic burgers. (And here you thought this entry’s title might possibly allude to that farce of skill our cricket boys are currently putting on over in England at the moment. Shame on you)

Now while Chantelle was certainly strong enough to resist the allure of their juicy adverts, a much weaker Craig gave in to their charm and before I knew it, I had placed an order for a Spicy Chorizo Burger, based entirely on the fact that Chantelle had informed me that Chorizo is spicy sausage and I happen to love sausage – I like it in hotdog buns, I like it in omelettes and I like it on pizza, meaning that it was a no brainer to declare to the waiter that this Chorizo burger thingie is the one I want!

As per usual Chantelle kicked things off with starters, opting for a mini-platter that supposedly had both calamari and sticky buffalo wings on it, but when the little plate arrived there appeared to only be chips and calamari present – seems you are required to dig out the four miniature little wings out from their hiding place if you feel like tasting them. Go figure. At least C enjoyed devouring all those cold, squishy calamari thingies.

Anyway, after a fairly short wait, the mains arrived and Chantelle was delighted at her fine looking chicken schnitzels that were placed down before her while I was considerably less than impressed with the burger that was plonked down in front of me. Sure it was as tall as the large advert stuck to the middle of the table made it out to be, but it sure wasn’t as juicy, drippy, or stuffed as the piccie said it should be and thus I had once again fallen sucker to the charms of a well photoshopped, setup photo.

Damn you image manipulators! Breaking the heart of an innocent restaurant goer like that!

Oh, and the burger was pretty plain tasting too if you have to know. It upset my stomach throughout the whole of Thursday, and forced Chantelle to witness the unforced playing of rear-end bagpipes for the most part of the day.

Sorry about that.

Seriously though, eating out at the Gordon’s Bay Spur is like playing Russian Roulette – the food is either absolutely fantastic or else it is the slimiest thing you have ever laid eyes on and demands payback for the rest of the week from your tender insides.

Should have gone for my usual guacamole and cheese burger instead… :(

Oh, but going out for the night did cheer me up a little at least as it was intended to in the first place – so thanks for that babes!

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About Craig Lotter

South African software architect and developer at Touchwork. Husband to a cupcake baker and father to two little girls. I don't have time for myself any more.