Cat Burglar My Life 28 NOV 2008

CatwomanMan, our complex security is lax! Last night around 22:30 Chantelle and I successfully ran a black-ops operation that had me scale a wall, take an item from our target house and then successfully extract to our home base without the night guard or his patrol dog even catching a whiff of our nefarious actions.

The story begins at 01:00 on Thursday morning when Chantelle was forced to engage in hand-to-broom fighting with a trapped mole that Coco had lured into the house. The ensuing battle against the furry demon was hampered by Coco’s continued insistence of re-engaging the mole and bringing him back inside after every successful front door ejection, forcing Chantelle into the only viable action – shutting and locking the cat flap, thereby depriving both kitty and mole entrance to the abode.

Fast forward to Thursday morning and the unimaginable happens. Coco doesn’t appear for breakfast. No problem, I let this one slide. Fast forward again. Supper time. Again Coco doesn’t pitch. Worrying. But the final straw. I purchase KFC for supper, sit down… and get harassed by ONLY Olympus.

No Coco in sight!

So by this stage I am highly agitated. No sign of our furry boy and as the night steadily rolls onward, Coco remains missing in action. Eventually it becomes too much for me to bear and I grab a torch and a Chantelle (not in any particular order) and march outside making my distinctive clicking sound that I’ve taught the cats to respond to.

Nothing in the front of the complex.

Taking our search party around the back, finally we get a positive response on our search call – a pained mewling coming from somewhere behind our block of flats. Skilfully tracking the noise, we made our way to the houses behind our flat and lo and behold, there, trapped in a narrow passage behind a 2, 2 and a half meter high wall, is a very distressed Coco, pacing back and forth in the prison of his own making.

Our first attempt at rescue/extraction was to toss a blanket over the side of the wall and see if the bugger was smart enough to either run up or at least grab hold of it so that we could pull him out.

Needless to say we overestimated his intelligence.

So out came the lightweight aluminium ladder that we happen to have borrowed a while ago and which is currently occupying the prime space next to our bedroom door, and I scaled to the top of the wall, straddled my newly found perch, and then leant to pick up the ladder and hoist it over the wall in one rapid motion. Like a silent, trained, covert SAS soldier I descended into the murky depths, snatched the kitten up and tossed him over the wall where his mother then happily doddled over him.

I then ascended up the ladder, repeated my one-handed ladder hoist trick and then scampered off into the darkness, our utterly daring cat burglary complete!

Thank goodness our little Coco survived his ordeal seemingly unscathed – had we not found him in time it may very well have been QUITE the catastrophe! :P

Related Posts:

About Craig Lotter

South African software architect and developer at Touchwork. Husband to a cupcake baker and father to two little girls. I don't have time for myself any more.