Mystery of the Missing Chairs: Solved My Life 13 MAR 2009

Plastic Garden ChairQuite some time ago, one of our white plastic garden chairs disappeared from the back of our flat, much to my annoyance of course. Nowhere to be found, we declared it stolen and sullenly mourned its disappearance ever since. Sure we suspected that the complex’s security guards might have ‘borrowed’ it, but with no proof to go on, that theory remained just that – a theory.

So you can imagine my frustration at arriving home on Saturday afternoon to discover that yet another one of my white plastic garden chairs had simply ‘disappeared’, without even the courtesy of a ransom note!

Now fine, I can assume that it is easier to steal a single chair than all three at once but damn it, why just steal one and then taunt by stealing another to drive home the message that you can take whatever you want whenever you want to?

The day progressed, I pondered chain solutions and set about my daily chores (washing the dishes this time around) when out the corner of my eye, through the kitchen blinds I spied a curious, lonely white chair sitting out across the parking lot surveying the lay of the land.

I know my chair’s silhouette I excitedly thought to myself, dropped what I was doing, wiped some of the shaving foam off my face (I was dual shaving and dishes washing) and marched out the front door, across the parking lot and let out a frustrated sigh of relief as I identified this lonely chair as indeed my lost, ‘stolen’ compatriot. Furious by now, I stomped around the general area, and lo and behold, tucked behind some bins in the alcove beneath and behind a set of stairs, there stood my other long lost white chair, eagerly waiting its rescue.

Making as much noise and mess as possible, I wrenched it free from its prison, stacked my newfound friends and stomped off back to my flat, grumbling as loud as possible in the hopes that everyone around me would take heed.

Reunited, my backyard once more sports its full complement of four plastic garden chairs and now, now I need to consider the next plan of action. After all, just how much trust can you put into the security tasked with securing your property if they themselves swipe your stuff…

Genuinely, who watches the watchmen it must be asked.

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About Craig Lotter

South African software architect and developer at Touchwork. Husband to a cupcake baker and father to two little girls. I don't have time for myself any more.