And so the Quest to Become a Father Begins My Life 19 APR 2010

So here’s the big new coming out of 45 Nagua Bay then: Chantelle and I have at last decided that the time is now and that we would like to become parents – meaning of course that in other words, the baby-making quest has now officially begun! :)

Thinking about it, it is a really scary thing to have signed up for. When and if the baby becomes reality, there are just so many unknowns, fears and uncertainties that I’ll have to deal with on a personal level, questions that I’ve already addressed, sure, but questions that take on a whole lot more weight once the idea of being a father becomes a reality.

Will I be a good father? Will I be capable of loving my child? Will I be able to care for my family? Will I be able to make sure my marriage survives the expansion to family unit? Will I be able to provide on a material, intellectual and spiritual level for my child and wife? Will I do the right things? Can I actually do it? How will I protect my child? How will I teach my child? Can I handle the lifestyle change that comes with having a child? Can I overcome my own issues so that they don’t pass on to my child? Will I…..?

The point is that this is a huge, monumental, colossal decision. And we’ve spoken about it and we’ve made it. It’s so exciting, but so scary at the same time.

But the matter of the fact is that the time is right. I turn 30 in three or four weeks time. Chantelle turns 30 at the end of the year. By this stage it is apparent that neither one of us are career-driven people, so we can’t use that as an excuse to put off becoming parents. We don’t live dangerous or unstable lives that would prohibit having a child. If we have our children now, then we can experience the best years of our lives with them, the years when we have already gained a wealth of experience and knowledge, as well as have the material means to easily support a family and best of all, when our children are growing up we will still be around to meet our grandchildren.

The time is right, we both know it.

But I’ll reiterate. It. is. scary.

Such a big decision, but in the end a surprisingly easy one to make. Despite all the fear and wondering that comes with it, both Chantelle and I WANT to be parents. We want children. We want to grow a happy, loving family. And the time is now. Simple as that.

So like I’ve said before, the baby-making quest has now begun. Be it Jessica or Ethan that arrives first on the scene, I can’t wait. It’s scary, but I simply can’t wait.

It’s moving towards a new chapter in my life.

And it’s the best decision I’ve had to make in a long, long time! :)

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About Craig Lotter

South African software architect and developer at Touchwork. Husband to a cupcake baker and father to two little girls. I don't have time for myself any more.

  • Helen

    I think that the fact that you’ve had all these thoughts means you are definitely going to be an awesome father :)

  • Congrats on making such a tough, selfless decision – you’re both far braver than I am! But at least now you can put your fears aside for a while and just enjoy the baby making fun:)
    .-= Pfangirl´s last blog ..Clashing Boondocks Aren’t that Into You: Mini movie review time =-.

  • @Helen: thanks H! :)

    @Pfangirl: Hee hee, that’s exactly why Chantelle pointed out that at this stage of the game I’m more into it than what she is! ;)
    .-= Craig´s last blog ..And so the Quest to Become a Father Begins =-.

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  • Maria

    Congratulations. The best years of your life will now last forever because that is how long children bring their parents joy. It is an ironic thing that the creatures that cause you the most sleepless nights, introspective anguish and generally non-stop worries are the source of a joy which really gives meaning to your life.