Dekneecapitated My Life 18 AUG 2010

It would seem that the treadmills at Steenberg Virgin Active have suddenly all decided to rebel against me.

So picture this. It’s lunch hour and I find myself happily kitted out in gym and ready to put in a quick 20 minute run before I return to my ball and chain back at the office.

The first treadmill I step on has much promise, overlooking the swimming pool, a working television monitor, looks pretty clean – only one problem though – it looks like the software has jammed up because this damn thing simply won’t start up!

No worries though, this is a whole bank of treadmills, none of which are currently in use. So I’ll simply shift over to the next one, and punch in the exercise plan and hey, I’m off.

However, only five minutes into my run and all of a sudden the unit loses power and decelerates to a stop, leaving a rather sweaty and bemused Craig standing at a complete and utter loss for words.

Bugger. Two treadmills in one session?

Oh well, on to the next one then I suppose. This one started out a lot better and soon I was happily huffing and puffing away, plodding along at a fair speed and enjoying the exertion while watching some TV on the monitor, when all of a sudden, without warning, the machine stopped dead in its tracks, screaming a message about the track being blocked and catapulting a rather surprised Craig violently forwards.

Now of course, with my body weight being what it is, it takes a little longer for my upper body to stop going forward after my legs have already been planted (damn you inertia!), and so there was no real alternative other than to crash heavily into the front of the treadmill.


Needless to say, it really isn’t a surprise that I now pick the exercise bikes until I reckon it’s safe to approach those nasty treadmills again! :P

See, see, they aren't targeting her at all!

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About Craig Lotter

South African software architect and developer at Touchwork. Husband to a cupcake baker and father to two little girls. I don't have time for myself any more.

  • Mathew Glass

    Hi Craig,

    Mathew here. Thanks for the feedback. I will get Clinton to go through the the treadmills and check them out. I do apologise and I will certainly look forward to meeting you. If your nervous for your next run, I will join you. Let me know.

    Mathew Glass
    Steenberg Club General Manager

    • Ha ha, thanks for the reply Matthew. Nah, this was a once off event – I gym with you guys basically every day of the week and don’t normally have a problem with the treadmills. This really was just one of those days! :)