A Ripped Decision General Nonsense | My Life 06 SEP 2010

I only have two shorts which I wear on a daily basis. Scratch that, of this weekend I have no shorts that I wear on a daily basis – a tragic loss that drove me straight to the mall and straight into overheated malice in the process.

The first of my beautiful cargo shorts to go was the sand coloured one, which inexplicably formed a tear above the back pocket which Chantelle duly pointed out to me. Not worth the repair, it was straight to the bin with shorts number 1. So backup no 2 was whipped out, my trusty green cargo shorts, also from Pick ‘n Pay’s fairly good Cherokee clothing range.

However, my faithful green shorts suffered an inhumane fate during my gardening stint in our new home’s garden late Saturday morning, ripping itself to shreds with an accompanying ungodly scream of tearing material as I bent down on my haunches to pluck out a particularly stubborn weed.


I hate shopping.

Or rather I hate clothing shopping, particularly if I can’t find something that fits me. And this is particularly true of pants, now that I find myself in the unenviable position of requiring huge XXL t-shirts and size 44 shorts to go along with it. Sure 42 size waists fit me, but thanks to my big thighs that’s about all that goes around me – sitting down with them would be inviting disaster to strike if my green shorts were anything to go by!

And believe you me, finding size 44’s in your bog standard clothing store chains appear to be next to impossible, what with them catering for all the normal (read tiny) sized men at the expense of us more manly, filled out gentlemen.

A frustrating search and try on experience at both Pick ‘n Pay Clothing Store and Mr. Price did in the end yield up an okay olive green cargo pants that will suffice for now, but the process of scratching through every single pants-bearing shelf in sight and standing in the seemingly never-ending queues that seem forever present in clothing stores was enough to spoil my afternoon and leave me fuming rather hot under the collar. (This was of course not helped by my big toe poking a great big hole in my sock during this horrible shopping experience).

And then I remembered – I need to go next weekend again to try and find that elusive second pair of shorts.

You know, as a spare considering my current luck with pants…

(I apologize for this seemingly pointless article. I’m tired from all the work at the new home this weekend and couldn’t seem to come up with anything more intelligent to say. I’ll try better the next time, promise…)

Related Posts:

About Craig Lotter

South African software architect and developer at Touchwork. Husband to a cupcake baker and father to two little girls. I don't have time for myself any more.