A farmer goes to a livestock dealer and buys an anvil, a bucket, two chickens, and a goose. The farmer looks at his varied purchases and exclaims, “Damn it, I WALKED here. How in the world am I going carry all of this home?!?”
The livestock dealer replied, “Why don’t you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?”
“Hey, thanks!” the farmer said, and off he went.
As he was walking down the road towards his home, he meets a little old lady who tells him that she is lost. She asks, “Can you tell me how to get to 1515 Mockingbird Lane?”
The farmer thinks for a bit and says, “Well, as a matter of fact, I live just down the road from there. Let’s take my short cut and go down this alley. We’ll be there in no time.”
To this the little old lady replied, “I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?”
The farmer said, “Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?!?”
“Well, you could set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket… and I’ll hold the chickens.”