Category Archives: The House of C

The web comic to end all web comics that have ever been produced by men bearing the name of Craig: The House of C

The House of C 024: Dealing with Arseholes The House of C 21 MAR 2012

It’s a shitty job, and you’ll probably end up the butt of all your friends’ jokes, but hey, work is work – and besides, someone has to do it.

To be honest, I was a bit torn whether to go with asshole or arsehole on this one. In the end I stuck with the classier of the two!

And Doris. The perfect doctor’s secretary name in my opinion. All of which reminds me of a joke I stumbled across on Reddit this week:

A guy walked into the doctor’s office complaining about pain in his genital region. The doctor asked him to remove his pants and was amazed to find this man had 5 penises, all in working order! “My goodness,” exclaimed the doctor. “How on earth does a condom fit over that mess?”

“Like a glove doctor, like a glove.”

The House of C 023: Great Reception! The House of C 13 OCT 2011

The only time two antennae would ever get married is when I suppose your satellite dish has fallen down and the only thing you can pick up with your bunny ears is snowy static.

Still, I’m no electrician, so I’m not sure how the two would consummate their new-found relationship in the first place.

Regardless, the reception should be awesome! ;)

The House of C 022: Giggs Torres Dig! The House of C 29 MAY 2011

Welshman Ryan Giggs, one of the all time British soccer greats, has spent an unprecedented period of time playing for just one league club for just about his entire professional career, namely the Premier League’s Manchester United. A brilliant footballer, Ryan is known as the gentleman of the game, being one of the squeakiest of clean and all round nice guy for years.

Until now that would seem.

It would appear that Mr. Giggs has taken out a super injunction to block the press from reporting on his long time extra-marital affair with one busty Imogen Thomas, Big Brother reality star and feature for a number of lads’ mags over the last couple of years. Needless to say, this isn’t a good thing for his image, particularly when he found out the hard way that you can’t stop a juicy story from spreading, no matter what legal route you turn to!

As for Fernando Torres, let us just say that this highly rated striker has been churning out too many dud seasons as of late. It would seem his ability to find the back of the net has inexplicably deserted him, much to the ire of his once fans…

The House of C 021: No Such Thing as a Happy Developer The House of C 17 APR 2011

The above is pretty much every day in any programmer’s life. Which directly translates into there is no such thing as a happy developer. Unless of course you give them pizza. And hide them in a room where they can’t see their pointy-haired boss.

Or just let them work from home.

Ah, working from home. Now that makes me happy – and more money of course! :)

The House of C 020: Global Warming – Not Cool The House of C 19 APR 2010

Frost Giants. They’re big, they lumber and they seem to be made up completely of ice. A staple of fantasy no matter where one looks, it does however become quite tricky to remove them from the natural, frozen habitat. After all, no one likes a big puddle in the middle of their floor – though I guess in this period of global warming and drought, all that extra water may not be such a bad thing after all!

And on a completely different note, that’s it, the end of my re-run comics. Next Monday we move on to the new stuff baby! (not that the lack of practice has improved my scribbles mind you!)

The House of C 019: Dumping is Illegal The House of C 12 APR 2010

You might laugh at this one, but a lot of cities do have ordnances in place that forces people to pick up after their dogs or face rather stiff penalties – though one is left to wonder just who is responsible for all that illegal dumping left behind by strays then…

Final note, Judge Dredd is awesome. If you haven’t picked it up, do yourself a favour and grab a copy of either Judge Dredd Megazine or 2000AD – the absolute best in British black humour comics. (Though I kind of miss the fully painted strip days. Computer colouring just doesn’t carry the same sort of charm with it).

Oh, and if you are feeling a little lost, here’s the info link creep: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judge_Dredd

The House of C 018: Deposit The House of C 05 APR 2010

At the height of the global economic meltdown, this was most certainly true. However, in an era of government bank loans and propping up of failing companies, who knows? Still, I kind of liked that short moment in time when I didn’t feel like bankers were screwing me over any more.

Pity that feeling has now gone again.

(And yes, that Ferrari looks rather shitty. But the pigeon doesn’t look half bad if you ask me!)