Category Archives: Sport & Health

Schadenfreude: Nasty Olympic Gymnastic Falls Jokes & other Funny Stuff | Sport & Health 19 APR 2012

Schadenfreude: pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. It’s human nature really.

Anyway, here are twenty hilarious (for us, not so much the gymnasts), epic Olympic Gymnastic falls and fails all neatly packaged into one little YouTube clip that is guaranteed to have you giggling out aloud to yourself.

If not, then you have obviously transcended above the normal human condition…


Going for a Drive My Life | Sport & Health 23 MAR 2010

Ah, the guys at Vodacom Golf Village, Somerset West. Persistent really. You see, I’m quite keen of finding something new to keep me busy and get me outdoors on the weekends that Chantelle works, meaning the time to work on my golf game is now finally at hand. Now the Vodacom Golf Village situated next to Somerset Mall is pretty much the only golf driving range I can find in my area and so I contacted them via email to request information in terms of prices, times, etc.

Of course, having heard horror stories regarding their persistence before, I made sure to remove all telephonic references out of my signature before hitting the send button.

Their response was pretty quick I must say and a certain Victor contacted me back via email, though outside of operating times he was pretty stingy with information, instead insisting that I come in for a consultation in order to discuss month to month membership pricing schemes. Needless to say, I iterated that I’m not a particularly keen golfer but was rather just looking around for a place to knock a couple of balls about, thus interested in comparing day visitor prices to membership prices and so make a choice based on the projected number of times I would visit the driving range (which is probably only like four times in a month by the way).

Not to be outdone by my apparent lack of interest, Victor then went ahead and phoned the company line which he tracked down based on my footer image and email domain, which thankfully I avoided answering by virtue that I was out to gym at the time he phoned, leaving poor old Kim to take a message for me – obviously I instructed her to ignore any further calls from him.

So he shot back to the email route and after a couple more rounds, I finally got the day visitor price out of him but despite all my questioning and egging on, I couldn’t drag any sort of membership fee out of him. So I pretty much thanked him for his time and stopped the email conversation.

Four days later and I got another email in my inbox from Victor informing me that it was a special “invite a guest” day at the driving range on Saturday and wouldn’t I be interested in coming in to have a chat – all I needed to do was confirm my availability  so that he could make the necessary arrangements.

Now annoyed by his unwanted persistence, I declined.

Yes, these are my second hand babies, purloined from all the extras left behind by Dad and Ryan's quest to ever improve their respective golfing stashes

However, this doesn’t mean that I was particularly put off by the driving range itself. Having worked out that it would be really stupid to take a membership out now going into autumn/winter when the chance of playing every second weekend is pretty slim due to the wind and the rain that usually accompanies the seasons, as well as input taken from Pops and Ryan, I instead opted to go out on Sunday and sign in as a day visitor – where I noticed just why Victor had been trying so hard to hook me in – basically the whole page of sign-ins consisted of day visitors only!!

So for an entrance fee of R79 (and a little extra which I had just for some reason spent on purchasing brush tees at Sportsman’s Warehouse around the corner) I got unlimited access for the day with unlimited balls at a place that opens at 08:00 in the morning and runs all the way through to 18:00, giving a person plenty of time to mess about.

As it turned out, I must have emptied a good six or seven buckets of balls during my two or so hour stint at the driving range, practicing my shots with just about all the clubs in my bag, including driving, putting, chipping and even some bunker play! In fact, I hit so many balls that I completely worked through the thumb of my glove that I’ve borrowed from Pops and Ryan, meaning I now need to go out and get a new one for the next time I venture on the mats! :)

As for the driving range itself, I was suitably impressed that it covered everything a person needs, with a large number of side by side tee off areas (though you do tee off from rubber with astro turf mats), two nicely sized putting greens and a tucked away chipping and bunker shot area. Flanked by two pubs/restaurants there is more than enough options when it comes to taking break and as a whole, their whole team responsible for filling up the buckets and clearing off the balls from the range did a pretty damn good job, meaning you never sat in a situation where you’d have to stand around and wait for balls to become available.

The only drawback from my day out at the range? The whole of yesterday I sat with an extremely stiff and sore back, not to mention my rather tender right arm forearm.

Sigh, the sacrifices one needs to make in order to challenge a tiger…

A view down the driving range.

One of the two available putting greens.

Like Stepping on a Puppy’s Tail Sport & Health 25 JAN 2010

Just got back from a quick lunch time gym session now, and I must say, this is the first time I’ve ever had to watch tennis with the sound on mute! The reason?

Victoria Azarenka.

This 20 year old Belarusian girl must have the most annoying playing screech  in the current game! Seriously, it sounds like someone is stepping on a puppy dog’s tail or strangling a mournful pigeon every time she swings her racquet at the ball!

C’mon now, I can’t believe that none of her opponents have ever thrown their racquets at her yet! Or could it be that her sonic banshee screech is affecting their aim? O.o

Like stepping on a puppy dog's tale...

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Schadenfreude: Splitting the Course Jokes & other Funny Stuff | Sport & Health 25 JAN 2010

Schadenfreude: pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. It’s human nature really.

You can talk about staged wardrobe ‘malfunctions’ like Janet Jackson’s infamous Superbowl Stunt all day long if you want, but shame poor Scottish bobsledder Gillian Cooke has to take the cake for experiencing one of the most publically embarrassing (thanks YouTube!) wardrobe malfunctions for quite some time! :)

Team mate of British bobsledder Nicola Minichiello, this two-women bobsleigh team has already tasted success by taking gold at the FIBT World Championships 2009 in Lake Placid, New York. However, it is without a doubt that the cold fateful day on January 16th 2010 will be the day Gillian remembers most in her bobsledding career…

(Can’t help but wonder – amongst all that cold snow and ice, shouldn’t bobsledders be wearing slightly more… well thermal underwear? O.o)

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A Trojan in Our Midst My Life | Sport & Health 01 JAN 2010

Well, the new year is now upon us and like most, I’m sure you already have that scrap of paper with all your new year resolutions tucked neatly under the phonebook, just in case you accidentally lay eyes on it again come the end of the year.

Now as I mentioned previously, I had surprised Chantelle by purchasing an elliptical trainer (or Orbitek as you might know it as from all those darn TV commercials they used to run a while back) for Christmas, and can now proudly say that as a man, it is currently standing fully assembled in the main living area, neatly tucked away in our newly created little fitness corner, complete with sagging exercise ball.

Actually, on that point, the thing turned out to be a bitch to assemble, thanks to the guys over at Trojan royally screwing up the package by forgetting to add one crucial metal washer to our kit – something that forced me out of my comfy home and all the way through to the mall in search of a hardware shop open on the day after Christmas. Needless to say, I wasn’t impressed – and our Trojan now sports a rather large, over-sized and out of place washer on its rear arm mechanism.

Anyway, outside of that slight mishap, I must say I’m quite pleased with Trojan’s Ellipti-Pro 300 elliptical trainer. The thing is nice and sturdily built, capable of handling a max weight of 120 kg, comes across as a visually attractive (if a little on the large side) package, and features a nifty little electronic board that provides you with all the functionality you would expect from big brother over at the gym – sans built in TV screen of course!

The idea is to provide Chantelle with a nice platform to use on those days that she works too late to maker her gym classes or perhaps something to get her up and going as she takes in the latest 7de Laan broadcast in the evening or on a Sunday in its horrible omnibus format – a good plan if I say so myself as you’ll notice how cleverly placed the machine is in order to provide a great view of the TV as one happily chugs along to EARN that all important pizza takeaway meal you were hungering for as you drove past Scooters next to Pick ‘n Pay earlier in the day.

Our little "exercise corner". It's cute, I'll give it that...

Needless to say, I too plan on making use of Chantelle’s shiny new toy when she isn’t looking, which kind of makes this fall slap bang onto my New Year’s resolution list then I suppose! :P

So it’s Bafana Bafana versus Mexico! Sport & Health 04 DEC 2009

So it’s been decided then, Banfana Bafana will be tackling those grimy Mexicans first up in 2010. Would have been nice to save face had our rugby captain picked an easier team for us to square off against, like Honduras for instance, but I guess after the Springboks’ rather lacklustre end to their season, they could hardly let Bafana Bafana get off too lightly!

Good luck boys, you’re going to need it!


Mexico? Crap. That's actually quite a tough opening game for us then! Damn you Honduras for not being picked first!

(Only a completely separate note, the draw ceremony had some great ideas and performances in mind, just a pity that most of it had to be lip-synched (and badly at that). Oh, and the ham-fisted ‘acting’, that wasn’t great either. Oh, and the rather stiff and strangely out of place Charlize Theron too. Okay, so maybe not the best draw ceremony ever, but at least we put on a fairly good show. Just not sure if people from the rest of the world are appreciating or laughing at it! Would be nice if they weren’t laughing. No one likes being laughed at you know…)

Kneed to Keep On Moving! My Life | Sport & Health 15 SEP 2009

Katabox ExerciseSjoe, it’s no wonder that at gym this morning my knee said out in a loud voice, “Hold on a minute there buddy! Get off the Orbitrek and hit the shower now. I refuse to work any more this morning, end of story!”. After all, I have just been training for the last 9 days straight, and look set to continue this trend pretty much all the way up to the wedding!

Last week alone I went for a gym session Monday to Friday morning, trained hard at Karate on Monday and Wednesday evening, enjoyed a double whammy of Katabox followed by badminton on Thursday night and then rounded everything off with a double dose of squash on Saturday and Sunday morning.

So needless to say, last night’s extended Kiba dachi (horse stance) karate session (thanks to the grading form I’m now expected to learn) was the final straw that broke this knee’s back, not surprising when I look back at what I’ve been up to in terms of cardio workouts! Guess it’s back to the arm workouts then until the little guy recovers a bit – maybe FIFA tonight the Mr. Ryan? My thumbs could always use the extra twiddle workout! :P

Oh and while I’m on the topic of exercise, apart from the fun badminton on Thursday which I rather enjoyed, it was the squash on Saturday and Sunday that proved the most invigorating to me. Courts and I STILL haven’t mended our broken relationship and to be honest, my knee probably won’t ever let me get back with them in the way in which I used to enjoy their companionship long ago, but every now and again, just when no knee is looking, I will enjoy a quick snuggle with my secret love and these two past squash sessions certainly proved to be a most enjoyable snuggle! :)

(Indeed, this was a bit of a nonsensical post, wasn’t it? O.o)

Playing with Little Balls My Life | Sport & Health 20 JUL 2009

Squash PlayersHeh, felt good to smack around little balls for a change this weekend. Unfortunately for me, back in the day I was quite into the idea of chasing down a little black ball and smashing it back against a wall in the hopes of making my chum on the other side look like a right fool, but my dearest beloved Chantelle doesn’t quite share this passion for hitting balls around a court-like structure I’m afraid. Of course, the fact that I now have to live with two rather dodgy knees hasn’t helped the cause either, all of which helps prop up the fact that in the full year and a bit that I’ve been staying here in Gordon’s Bay, I’ve only ever used the complex squash and tennis courts literally a handful of times, probably less than five in total!

Needless to say, not a stat to be proud of. :(

But this weekend I received a rare treat, where due to the various activities plotted for Saturday and Sunday, meant I ended up sleeping in Bellville on Saturday night over at my parents’ place, meaning that come 07:00 Sunday morning, Ryan, Pops and myself were happily smacking the ball around on Virgin Active Tygervalley’s squash courts. It was a thoroughly enjoyable experience because it feels like I haven’t held a squash racquet since way back last year already (which is exactly when last I did grip a squash racquet mind you), and to get onto the court (even in my fairly hobbled state) was tons of fun. I didn’t push hard, my knees complained slightly as they always do, and I pretty much was solidly thrashed the whole time by monsieurs Ryan and Pops (who probably hopped around on one leg just to make the game a bit more challenging) but by the end of the session I walked away smiling from ear to ear.

I seriously can’t believe just how much I’m missing it!!

Luckily for me though, given Chantelle’s and my current living apart pact, in a month or two I’ll find myself living back at my parents’ place for a little while (at least a month or two), meaning I’m going to be getting plenty of opportunity to smack that little black dot of rubber around and around again – much to my heart’s content (and my knees’ discontent) I’m sure! :)

Now back on topic and the other game featuring a little round ball that I indulged in this weekend was surprise, surprise, a spot of table tennis, all brought about by the random events of Ryan’s XBOX still having not been replaced and Mr. Brown shooing us away thanks to him currently working away at his assignments over Saturday afternoon (bugger has even gone and got his board exam thingie scheduled for our wedding day!). All this lead to a potentially bored Ryan and I hauling out the dusty table tennis table and setting it up in the now rather empty garage, thanks to the fact that Dad’s caravan is still away undergoing its routine maintenance service.

Of course, as is always the case, it took a little while to start building up the rally lengths, but once our eyes were in we ended up playing for a good solid couple of hours, even enticing Mom and Pops to join us for a bit of doubles. Amazingly enough, Ryan and I churned out one close game after another for pretty much the whole afternoon session, but thankfully in the end I took the afternoon honours with a fair number of games in hand. (But to be fair, he later returned to convincingly thrash me in order to take the evening session’s trophy!)

Must admit though, P.O.D’s Boom was sorely missed. Perhaps the next time we’re there we’ll need to rig up some sound system Mr. Ryan?

Proteas Go Pfft Once Again Sport & Health 19 JUN 2009

South African Cricket Captain Graeme SmithDespite Graeme Smith’s heartfelt ‘We are not Chokers’ little diatribe fed to the media this morning, I can’t help but be utterly disappointed with just how the Proteas managed to once again disappoint themselves (and us as a nation) when it really mattered.

Once again, the South African cricket team managed to breeze through the early stages of the ICC Twenty 20 World Cup only to crash out when it really mattered – and after watching last night’s game I can only shake my head and mutter that they really only have themselves to blame.

Yes, Afridi did do wonders for the Pakistanis with both ball and bat and I marvelled at how deadly Umar Gul’s pinpoint fast bowling was, but when you look at how the match played itself, SA really should have been batting at a quicker pace during the middle of their innings – it just feels such a sin to have lost with that many wickets still in hand!! Surely the boys could have done better than that? After all, 149 is not a particularly high total to reach in Twenty 20 cricket, and our batsmen really should be kicking themselves for letting the bowling attack down by not taking out this moderate total brought about by some excellent bowling up front when we got to play attackers.


I really should stop watching these cricket tournaments with the hope of winning stuck firmly in my heart – nowadays it always just seems like a huge splinter waiting to be painfully yanked out…

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