Joke Factory: Hair be Fleas

So a flea walks into the office one morning, freezing cold, dripping wet, and sits down at his desk, absolutely miserable and dejected. A concerned coworker flea walks up to his desk and says, “Hey man, what happened to you? You look like hell.”

To which the flea replies, “Man, I had the worst night ever. I spent the night in a biker’s moustache!”

His coworker laughs and says, “That’s terrible. Listen, take my advice. If you want the best night’s sleep that you have ever had, go out one night and find a really obese woman – like the largest woman you can find – crawl up her leg, and spend the night in her pubic hair.”

So the next day, the same flea walks into the office, late again, freezing cold and dripping wet, and sits down at his desk, absolutely miserable and dejected. His coworker comes up to him and says, “Hey, how come you didn’t take my advice?”

“I did,” replied the bedraggled flea, “but I woke up in the biker’s moustache!”

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Anime Opinions: Bleach: The DiamondDust Rebellion | Black Lagoon: Roberta’s Blood Trail | Marvel Anime: Wolverine

Bleach: The DiamondDust Rebellion (2007)

A treasure is stolen, the prime suspect is one of the Captains of Soul Society, and with him disappearing after the theft, all fingers must point to him as being the culprit. But there is more to this event, something hidden in Soul Society’s dirty past, and Ichigo as per usual is going to be dragged into the thick of it to try and clear Hitsugaya’s name before the assassination squad can do their job!

For some reason I tend to enjoy the Bleach movies more than what I enjoy the Naruto movies, despite not having been a part of either franchise for quite a couple of years now (seriously, just too long, both of them!). DiamondDust Rebellion, the second Bleach movie, follows this trend once again for me, delivering a suitably epic standalone film that doesn’t feel like filler, contains loads of action and fantastical, over the top fight sequences, and contains a decent story with just the right amount of mystery and intrigue to keep you hooked.

The animation is fluid, loads of detailed backgrounds, and as to be expected, the Bleach silliness is still present and accounted for. Similarly the voice acting and music score are top notch, making for a great movie that any Bleach, or anime fan for that matter, should enjoy!

Black Lagoon: Roberta’s Blood Trail (2010)

Having thoroughly enjoyed the dark, thought-provoking and action-packed Black Lagoon series, it was pleasing to stumble across the follow-up OVA, which takes an already excellent and quite dark tale down even more a disturbed and twisted alley.

Events have driven the unstoppable killer maid Roberta over the edge, and now on a quest for revenge, she has thrown away everything (including both her humanity and sanity) and will stop at nothing to achieve her goals. This threatens to destabilize everything and it is up to Rock to come up with a plan to rectify the situation before a combination the Americans, Moscow Hotel, and Colombians mess up everything!

The blood-soaked story feels even darker than previous tales and it is quite disturbing to see how Roberta has devolved into nothing more than a mindless killing machine. On top of this we are given non-stop action, driven by clever machinations that make for a very dark and very intriguing watch, with a suitable satisfying but not completely ending that you expect from a Black Lagoon tale.

The animation is of the same quality as the television series, which quite frankly is a good thing because that animation was fantastically lit, detailed and very fluid and well choreographed.

All of this wrapped in some great voice acting and musical backdrop makes for a polished, bloody and very entertaining extension to the Black Lagoon franchise.

Marvel Anime: Wolverine (2011)

Logan and Mariko were forcefully separated years ago, but she has now finally resurfaced again in Japan. Shingen, her master swordsman, yakuza boss of a father is about to forcefully marry her off to a criminal leader in the state of Madripoor, in exchange for an expanded base of operations. Needless to say, this does not make for a very happy Wolverine, and more importantly, means a trip to Tokyo, claws ready for action!

For some unearthly reason, Madhouse gets the design for Wolverine all wrong for this outing. They get it right in the Marvel Anime: X-Men project, but completely wrong in the Marvel Anime: Wolverine project. I don’t know why, but it does take some time to get over this tall, lean, very Japanese incarnation. However, the character of Logan is spot on, and once you do get over his not so great appearance, you’ll find a fantastic action-packed story that takes you on a very twisty downhill of a adventure with a very big (and pretty over the top) ending. It is in truth a great Wolverine tale, and certainly worth the watch.

Outside of Wolverine’s appearance, the animation for Wolverine is actually pretty great, with great character designs and plenty of fluid action sequences to sit back and enjoy. Backgrounds are detailed and the colours vibrant, suiting the pace of the tale perfectly.

Similarly, a great vocal cast adds the necessary depth to the already great visuals, all wrapped up in a fantastic pulse pounding soundtrack.

It is a fun and enjoyable Wolverine romp, even with the spots that are taken just a little too over the top in terms of the action sequences (annoying, I know), making it a decent watch for any fans of action-packed anime titles.

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Chantelle’s Second Market, Semi-Soet, and Logan’s Christening

Chantelle’s off weekend at last, though by now you should be pretty familiar with the concept that Chantelle’s off weekends are now no longer off weekends at all! :)

After Jessie’s little incident (more on this in a later post, I promise), we got her to bed, and the rest of the Friday night was spent with Chantelle in the kitchen preparing for Saturday’s Willowbridge Slow Food Market showing, and me in the study, banging away at my keyboard on my latest software project.

So nothing exciting there I’m afraid, apart from a rather late bedtime.

Saturday morning blasted off with Chantelle up and out of the door at the crack of dawn, where she joined up with her mom and dad in Bellville, before heading over to Willowbridge to set up shop for Chantelle’s Cookies and Cakes’ second market showing.

Back in Gordon’s Bay (where the wind was pumping), Jessica and I took care of the chores and all the packing, before also heading out to the Northern Suburbs – after Jessie arose from her mid-morning nap and enjoyed her bottle of milk of course! The Willowbridge market was once again well supported and the ladies made a killing, so I suppose my little contribution of R7,50 for a piece of chocolate cake wasn’t exactly worth all that much on the day – though the cake as per usual was pretty damn delicious! Loads of visits from the various friends and family, as well as quite a few compliments and possible business leads meant that Chantelle and Cheryl’s day out at the market was once again quite the success.

Jessica and I left the ladies to continue on with their selling in order to make a quick stop at Ryan’s pad to check out the progress on his renovated kitchen, where we found him entertaining Michelle (who we haven’t seen in ages), and even managed to convince him to hand over the latest couple of episodes of Young Justice he purloined off the Internet.

From there Jessica and I headed off to Mom and Dad’s place, wanting to get in a quick visit with them following their return from a week long holiday up at Storms River. As it turned out, Claire was also there for the day, and we enjoyed a nice family visit, with Jessica being quite the centre of attention with old Pops as per usual!

With Jessica pretty exhausted by this stage, I opted to bid farewell to my folks and head off to Monty and Cheryl’s pad, where we dumped Jessica down on a blanket for a solid afternoon’s sleep, enjoyed a quick cup of coffee with catchup regarding the successful market, before Chantelle and I left little Jessie in the capable hands of her Ouma and Oupa, and shot through to Karl and Trish’s pad to join in celebrating Trish’s 30th birthday with her famous cake and off course boardgames, this time consisting of a entertaining game of Balderdash, and a couple of rounds of Pictionary Man.

From there it was back to our base at Oupa and Ouma’s house to pick up the carrot cake baked for Logan’s Christening party on Sunday, and one quick icing job later, Chantelle and I found ourselves at Damen’s door in Kraaifontein, where we successfully handled the drop-off.

Wanting to celebrate Chantelle’s great market experience and my pay increase at work, we decided to take a night off for ourselves, and so straight from Damen and Michelle’s pad, we popped in at Cape Gate Mall, where we ended up thoroughly enjoying the Afrikaans movie Semi-Soet at Ster Kinekor cinemas. It is a by the book, very well executed, funny and touching romantic comedy, and pleasingly, really enjoyable to watch – even if you are and Englishman like myself! Louw Venter is hysterically funny as always, and it was great to see the cinema packed full, the Afrikaner community really supporting this great local movie. (So much so, that Chantelle and I had to sit in the front seat of the cinema, having completely underestimated just how full the movie was going to be!)

After having laughed and cried for a good hour and a half, we decided to wrap up our evening by heading back to Bellville to stop in for a very late night supper at the famous Starlite Diner, where Chantelle enjoy a delicious steak roll and I partook in a fabulous Mexican burger. Yummy!

Anyway, the night had to eventually draw to a close I suppose, and we dragged ourselves back to base, stopping only to change a niggly Jessica’s nappy, before we could hit the bed properly and grab a few hours of sleep before Sunday came rolling in.

Sunday morning was again up bright and early, as we scurried to get Jessica and ourselves ready and settled, before shooting off to Durbanville to meet up with the rest of the friends waiting outside of the Durbanville Anglican Church. The big occasion was of course Logan’s christening, and it was great to see all the friends make it through to come and support, babies and all! As it turned out, the babies were all quiet and obedient (the thing we had been fretting about the most) for the most part of what ended up being quite a lengthy service in a hot and packed church, though I did eventually slip out after the last of the twelve children being baptized on the day were completed. Jessica and I spent the next little while out in the garden under the trees, before being joined by the rest of the guys who also seized the opportunity to slip out during what had turned into quite a drawn out Communion ceremony!

We decided to pass some time before Logan’s celebratory party back at Damen and Michelle’s pad by heading off to Durbanville Mugg & Bean with Evan, Natasha and Evalynne, though our experience was cut short by a very grumpy and exhausted Jessica who was now starting to scream her little head off because of the tiredness (thankfully the quick purchase of some interesting toy goldfish from the Crazy store next door offered us a little respite).

Chantelle and I were par for the course when we got lost trying to take the shortcut via Langeberg road to Kraaifontein, though the extended drive towards Malmesbury was nice in that it gave Jessica a little bit more nap time in her seat, not that you would have said this if you saw her mood once we did eventually turn up at Damen’s door. I’m not sure if it was the large amount of people, the heat, the exhaustion, hunger, or simply all four combined, but unfortunately Jessie quickly took to the screaming approach, meaning that after a quick snack and drink, we had to bid an early farewell and head back to our Bellville base camp, where we finally managed to get a struggling Jessica to go down for a rather extended afternoon nap.

At this point I headed back to Gordon’s Bay, bearing all the crates and materials returning from the market, with Chantelle following later with Jessica, meaning I got a little bit of a break from all the running around – which resulted in the production of this blog post, the unpacking of the car and the putting out of the bins in case you were wondering.

Chores, bedtime routine and at last a little alone time (with pizza) was all that was left for Sunday evening, bringing to close a rather busy weekend for the Lotter Clan!

*Whew* – I’m exhausted just typing this! :)

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Cosplay Sundae: Zasalamel (Soulcalibur III)

Lee Camara, a woman known for her many wonderful cosplay prop designs and and subsequent productions, sometimes also takes the time out to don her own creations, this time grabbing one very detailed scythe and transforming herself into the fearsome immortal Zasalamel, main antagonist of Soulcalibur III!

Zasalamel is originally from an ancient tribe that was tasked with the protection of the holy sword Soul Calibur by Algol. Angered by the tribe’s old ways and tight restrictions, he tried to remove Soul Calibur, but was subsequently caught and exiled. During his pursuit of the sword, he gained the ability to reincarnate, though eventually this led to his yearning to be able to at last perish for good.

Tracking down Soul Edge, he manipulated events so that Soul Calibur would come to him, thus making marking him as the main antagonist of Soulcalibur III.

And now you know.

Related Link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zasalamel#Zasalamel

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Photo Gallery: Willowbridge Mall Slow Food Market (2012-03-24)

Chantelle’s Cookies & Cakes were again represented by Chantelle and her Mom at the Willowbridge Mall Slow Food Market, and just as before, their stall was a great success, receiving plenty of sales, compliments and business leads along the way! And even better yet, they pretty much sold out on the day too! :)

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Trevor Hairsine: X-Men: Deadly Genesis Cover (2006)

From writer Ed Brubaker arose 2006′s X-Men: Deadly Genesis, which pitted the team against a mysterious and deadly enemy who originated out of the team’s very own history and had returned to take them on from outer space, following the events of the epic House of M storyline. (Hint, it was Vulcan).

Artist Trevor Hairsine handled the interior pencils on the book, and although his was not the official cover to the first issue of the series, he did get to produce one of the two variant covers in which the book was also published, with his focusing on everyone’s favourite hairy and quite stocky X-man, Wolverine.

Looking at the one they went with as the official cover compared to his Wolverine depiction, well let us just say that this is one of those silly editorial decisions that I just don’t get!

Related Link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deadly_Genesis

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Joke Factory: Sheer Panties

A husband walks into Victoria’s Secret to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from R250 to R500 in price, the more sheer, the higher the price.

He opts for the most sheer item, pays the R500 and takes the lingerie home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs to try it on and model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks to herself, “Here’s an idea. It’s so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won’t put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the R500 refund for myself.”

Happy with her underhanded plan, she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

Catching sight of his wife, the husband says, “Good Lord! You’d think that for R500, they’d at least iron it a bit!”

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