Tag Archives: bank robber

Joke Factory: The Bungling Blonde Bank Robber Jokes & other Funny Stuff 25 MAY 2012

A blonde and a brunette decided to rob a bank. They quickly devised a good plan and before long, put it into action. The brunette drove up to the front of the bank that they had decided to rob. Turning towards the blonde, she asked, “Now, do you remember what the plan is?”

The blonde sighed and replied, “Yeah, yeah, I remember.”, but just to be safe, the brunette went over the plan in detail one last time, stressing that the blonde needed to be in and out in no more than five minutes.

So with everything set, the blonde made her move.

It was a nervous wait for the brunette, but after what seemed an eternity, the blonde came bursting out of the bank’s doors, the alarms sounding loudly, and with a safe tied with a rope being dragged along behind her.

This was followed by a security guard rushing out of the bank, pants around his ankles and desperately trying to reach for his gun.

Failing to stuff the tied up safe in the car, the blonde eventually had to just drop it and jumped into the passenger seat, allow the brunette to speed off into the safety of the dark night.

Turning towards the blonde, the seething brunette could barely contain her anger: “YOU IDIOT!! You were supposed to tie up the guard and blow the safe!!”

Karma (for an ATM bomber at least) General Nonsense 19 JUN 2007

Sometimes karma can be such a bitch :)

ATM bomber loses arms
18/06/2007 22:18 – – (SA)

Johannesburg – Gauteng police spokesperson Sanku Tsunke says an ATM robber’s arms have been surgically amputated after explosives detonated while he was trying to remove cash from the machine.

The 26-year-old man and his accomplices had detonated explosives at an ATM in Bosmont, west of Johannesburg, on Saturday.

Tsunke said the robber had approached the machine to collect the money, but some of the explosives had not detonated and they exploded on his arms.

Without taking the money, the man’s alleged accomplices took him to hospital where his arms were amputated.

So when the police haul this bloke off to prison do they bother searching him if he is already unarmed? :P