Tag Archives: cheating

Joke Factory: Cutting Down on Sexy Time Jokes & other Funny Stuff 18 AUG 2012

George is not having a good day on the golf course. None of his drives are going straight, his putting is horrendous, and to be honest, he just wasn’t being himself.

So the rest of his usual four-ball gathered around him and asked if something was up.

“It’s the wife,” said George. “As you all know, she’s taken up golf, and since she’s begun playing, she’s completely cut my sexy time down to only once a week!”

“That’s not so bad,” chirped up one of the guys from the four-ball. “Consider yourself lucky – she’s cut some of us out altogether!”

Joke Factory: That’s One Way to Secure the Votes Jokes & other Funny Stuff 03 FEB 2012

An elderly couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife’s hand in his and said, “Emma, soon we will be married 50 years, and there’s something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?”

Emma replied, “Well Herman, I have to be honest with you too dear. Yes, I’ve been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason.”

Hurt by his wife’s sudden and unexpected confession, Herman managed to stay composed and said, “I never suspected a thing. Could you perhaps please tell me just what you mean by ‘good reason’?”

Emma said, “The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn’t pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?”

Herman recalled the visit to the banker and said, “Oh. But I can forgive you for that my dear, after all, you saved our home. And the second time?”

Emma asked, “Do you remember when you were so sick and we didn’t have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge.”

“I recall that,” replied Herman tearfully, “And again you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time.”

“All right,” Emma said. “So do you remember when you ran for president of the synagogue, and you needed 73 more votes to win?”

Joke Factory: It’s a Small World Jokes & other Funny Stuff 18 NOV 2011

Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play a quick 9 holes on their lunch.

Both men are playing well, but they are being held up by two women in front of them who are moving at a much slower pace. Joe offers to go and talk to the women and see if they will let them pass. He gets about 3/4ths of the way, stops and jogs back.

His boss asks what the problem is.

Joe replies, “Well it turns out that one of those women is my wife and the other happens to be my mistress!”

Phil shakes his head and starts walking towards the women himself, determined to finish his round of golf before lunch runs out. Preparing to ask the ladies to let them play through, he too stops short and turns around.

This time it is Joe who asks, “What’s wrong boss?”

Phil replies, “It’s a small, small world Joe, and by the way, you’re fired!”