Tag Archives: cowboy

Joke Factory: But You Can Leave Your Hat On Jokes & other Funny Stuff 21 OCT 2011

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay cowboy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the widow said to the cowboy, “You have done a seriously excellent job – the ranch looks great and things really couldn’t be going any better. You should definitely go into town and kick up your heels for a bit, you deserve it!”

The hired hand readily agreed and so went into town on Saturday night.

He returned around 2:30 am, and upon entering the house, he found the widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.

“Unbutton my blouse and take it off,” she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed.

“Now take off my boots.” He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

“Now take off my socks.” He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

“Now take off my skirt.” He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

“Now take off my bra.” Again, with trembling hands, did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him square in the eyes and said: “If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you’re fired!”

Joke Factory: The Blind Cowboy versus the Blondes Jokes & other Funny Stuff 19 AUG 2011

An elderly, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

Finding his way to a barstool, he sits down and orders a beer. A couple of minutes later, he yells out to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a deep, husky voice, the woman next to the old cowboy turns and says to him, “Before you tell that joke cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things.”

“First, the bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. Two, the bouncer is a blonde girl. Three, the lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Four, the lady sitting next to me is blonde and happens to be a professional weightlifter. Lastly, I am 6-foot tall, weigh 175 pounds, have a black belt in karate, and am also blonde.”

“In other words, I suggest you think carefully as to whether or not you still want to tell your little blonde joke.”

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”