Tag Archives: finances

Joke Factory: The Blonde, the Lotto and God Jokes & other Funny Stuff 29 JUN 2012

A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she is in dire financial straits. She is so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray: “God, please help me. I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money, I’m going to lose my house as well. Please, please let me win the Lotto.”

Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it. Again she prays: “God, please, please let me win the Lotto! I’ve lost my business, my house and I’m about to lose my car as well.”

Lotto night comes and still no big win for her. Once again, down on her knees, she prays: “My God, why have You forsaken me so? I’ve lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don’t often ask You for help, and I have always been a good servant to You. PLEASE let me win the Lotto just this one time so I can get my life back in order.”

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open. The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God Himself:

“Sweetheart, work with Me on this… Buy a ticket!”

Money, Money, Money My Life 09 MAR 2011

So you all saw yesterday’s post regarding our financial situation. The funny thing is, most of my posts for this site are written well in advance (you would be interested to know that there is already a post scheduled for each and every day for the rest of March), and the situation yesterday’s post addressed, was actually resolved last Friday when our prayers were answered in quite a surprise fashion.

UIF caught us completely by surprise and paid out early, far, far earlier than what we had expected and with a far, far greater amount than what we could have hoped for.

This now more than covers the shortfall until Chantelle returns to work and receives her first paycheck at the end of April, taking a huge burden off our shoulders in the process.

Of course, this exceptionally good news meant that for a change I could enjoy my weekend, translating into two walks along the beach, loads and loads of gardening, landscaping and household chores, a morning run, a visit to the Funakoshi karate fundraiser pet show (which we were kind of late getting to), two new websites configured and populated with content, a pencilled, inked, lettered and coloured webcomic, and of course an enjoyable supper with the in-laws over at our place on Saturday night.

Ah, much, much better when you are not stressing about money all the time! ;)

Finances, Finances, Finances My Life 08 MAR 2011

I am flat broke. Although I always playfully say that, this is the first time that I have actually been broke in seriously I don’t know how many years – probably all the way back to that first year when I stepped out into the work world for the first time and was pretty much earning peanuts – as one usually does when one starts out.

Although we had made all the necessary plans and budgeting last year already, unforeseen circumstances like Jessica’s unexpected arrival hit our bank balance hard. What with having just purchased the house and now added child care costs, the fact that we lost Chantelle’s income for the duration of her maternity leave and then the subsequent screw up with UIF application, means that at the moment, my solitary salary has pretty much got to cover everything.

And it turns out that it just doesn’t quite make it.

We made significant cut backs in our household spending and have pretty much suspended all non-essential services (hey, I even have Chantelle on single-ply now!), but between all the existing debit orders, huge petrol bill thanks to my daily commute and of course the various medical costs associated with Jessica (and on that note, thanks to the Montgomery clan for helping us out on that one extra doctor’s visit), this is the first time that I have ever had to live off my credit card – in other words using money that I don’t actually own at the moment.

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