Tag Archives: funny

Joke Factory: Faithfulness and Rewards Jokes & other Funny Stuff 15 MAR 2013

Three men died and went up to Heaven. Standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, the three men were asked just how faithful they had been to their wives during their time down on Earth, their level of devotion determining their mode of transport here in Heaven.

The first man stepped forward and said that he had never once cheated on his wife during their long marriage, and is still very much in love with her even after all this time. Pleased with his level of devotion, St. Peter rewarded the first man with a luxurious and beautiful Rolls Royce, in which he eased through the gates and entered Heaven.

The second man stepped forward and sheepishly admitted that although he had once or twice strayed from his wife during their marriage, for the most part he had been pretty faithful and too loved her. Not quite as pleased with the second man’s level devotion compared to that of the first guy, St. Peter nevertheless rewarded the second man with a shiny Mustang, in which he sped through the Gates.

The third man stepped up, hung his head in shame and announced that he had been unfaithful to his wife on more than just a few occasions, to which St. Peter responded by giving the man a scooter which he then hopped on and entered into Heaven.

A few days later the man on the scooter noticed the first man sitting on a curb next to his Rolls Royce, head in his hands and tears streaming down his face. Bemused, the scooter guy asked the first guy what was going on that was so terrible, given the fact that he now owned a beautiful luxurious Rolls Royce.

“Well,” sniffed the first man. “I just saw my wife go past on roller skates…”

Joke Factory: American Slapping Jokes & other Funny Stuff 08 MAR 2013

An elderly lady, an attractive big boobed blonde, a noisy American and a Canadian guy were all seated on a train passing through a particularly mountainous area. As they passed through a pitch black tunnel, a loud *SLAP* broke the silence, and as the train emerged from the tunnel and into the light, there sat the American with a bright red hand print across the side of his face.

The old lady chuckled and thought to herself, “That noisy guy probably grabbed the blonde’s breast and she slapped him!”

The blonde thought to herself, “Ha, that guy probably tried to grab my breast, missed, and then caught the old lady’s breast by mistake. Wow, she really gave him a good wallop!”

The America thinks, “Geez, that Canadian probably tried to grab the blonde’s breast, she missed slapping him, and caught me instead!”

The Canadian guy sits there with a smile on his face, “Man, I can’t wait until another tunnel so that I can slap the crap out of this American again!”

Joke Factory: Licking Your Balls Jokes & other Funny Stuff 04 AUG 2012

Paddy and Mike were strolling down the street when they came upon a cat lying next to the road and licking his groin clean, as cats usually tend to do.

“Boy,” said Mike, “I sure wish that I could do that.”

Paddy replies, “Yup, wouldn’t mind that either, but I for one sure as heck wouldn’t try it!”

“Oh? Why not?” asked Mike.

“Well for one thing, I’m pretty sure he’ll scratch and bite!”

Friday Funny: One Man’s Earring is Another Woman’s Lie Jokes & other Funny Stuff 09 APR 2010

Dave and Joe are work colleagues, working together in one of those open plan offices that seem to be all the rage a short while back.

One day Dave notices that the usually rather conservative Joe is sporting a single earring in one of his ears. Bemused by this, Dave eventually decides to get to the bottom of things and so sidles up to Joe and asks him, “Joe, since when have you started sporting an earring?”.

“Well it’s quite simple really”, replies Joe.

“Basically since my wife found one lying in our bed!”

Laptop-catching Butt Action Jokes & other Funny Stuff 12 AUG 2009

fujitsu lifebook a series laptopSeriously. If this spandex-wearing terrific trio doesn’t win the MSI-sponsored YouTube competition to promote their new X-Slim range of products, then I don’t know who should.

Surely no one can promote their ultra slim product like this? I mean, after all, it takes butts and balls to pull off something like this!

The Breast Blonde Joke Ever! Jokes & other Funny Stuff 11 OCT 2008

For those of you who haven’t YET caught the new Nandos advert on TV, this is for your benefit. Truly the guys in their marketing department have come up with some absolute gems over the years, and this one certainly ranks right up there with the best of them. Sure it isn’t particularly witty or clever, but thanks to the brilliantly funny blonde actress this just works!

Got to say that this is the only advert on TV that currently has me curled up laughing on the couch every time it flights – and I still can’t believe it hasn’t been pulled off the airwaves yet! Somewhere our censor dogs are seemingly fast asleep!

Oh, and is it just me, or is the way that the napkin is laid out at the end with the Nandos logo superimposed over it done like that on purpose? Looks like panties to me, if you ask…