Tag Archives: golfer

Joke Factory: Funeral or Golf? Jokes & other Funny Stuff 22 JUN 2012

A young man was paired with an older gentleman for their round of golf at the local golf course.

Over the course of the round the older gentleman and young man traded stories of past rounds, good shots and poor shots, and simply put, had a grand old time.

At the 14th, just as the older gentleman was lining up to tee off, he witnessed a funeral procession going past the golf course. Very quietly he stopped, hung his head and said a quiet prayer.

The young man stood astonished at what he had just witnessed and asked the old man, “That was the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed, but may I ask just why you did what you did?”

After a moment of silence, the older gentleman replied, “Well we were married for 40 years you know.”

Joke Factory: Wash Your Hands Real Good Jokes & other Funny Stuff 01 JUL 2011

An elderly golfer comes in after a good round of golf at the new course and heads straight to the bar/restaurant area of the club house.

As he passes through the swinging doors, he spots a sign hanging over the bar that reads:

COLD BEER: R15.00
HAMBURGER: R20.00
CHEESEBURGER: R25.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH : R18.50
HAND JOB: R250.00

Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary money, the old golfer walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled golfers.

She glides down behind the bar to the old golfer.

“Yes?” she inquires with a wide, knowing smile. “May I help you Sir?”

The old golfer leans over the bar and whispers, “I was wondering young lady, are you the one who gives the hand-jobs around here?”

She looks into his wrinkled eyes and with a wide smile purrs, “Yes Sir, I sure am.”

The old golfer leans in even closer and into her left ear says softly, “Well then, be sure to really, really wash your hands real good, because I want a cheeseburger.”

The House of C 015: That’s not Cricket! The House of C 15 MAR 2010

You shout “four” when your favourite batsman times a beautiful cover drive which runs all the way down to the boundary rope, you yell “fore” when your favourite golfer lets loose a magnificent drive that travels for absolute miles. But although they sound the same but are spelled completely differently, one should never call them out at the wrong event.

After all, that just wouldn’t be cricket, now would it? ;)

(And for the count, ball boxes are usually a shade of off-white when compared to the rest of the kit in a kit bag. It’s best not to dwell upon it really…)