Tag Archives: husband

Joke Factory: Sheer Panties Jokes & other Funny Stuff 23 MAR 2012

A husband walks into Victoria’s Secret to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from R250 to R500 in price, the more sheer, the higher the price.

He opts for the most sheer item, pays the R500 and takes the lingerie home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs to try it on and model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks to herself, “Here’s an idea. It’s so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won’t put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the R500 refund for myself.”

Happy with her underhanded plan, she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

Catching sight of his wife, the husband says, “Good Lord! You’d think that for R500, they’d at least iron it a bit!”

Joke Factory: That’s One Way to Secure the Votes Jokes & other Funny Stuff 03 FEB 2012

An elderly couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife’s hand in his and said, “Emma, soon we will be married 50 years, and there’s something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?”

Emma replied, “Well Herman, I have to be honest with you too dear. Yes, I’ve been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason.”

Hurt by his wife’s sudden and unexpected confession, Herman managed to stay composed and said, “I never suspected a thing. Could you perhaps please tell me just what you mean by ‘good reason’?”

Emma said, “The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn’t pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?”

Herman recalled the visit to the banker and said, “Oh. But I can forgive you for that my dear, after all, you saved our home. And the second time?”

Emma asked, “Do you remember when you were so sick and we didn’t have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge.”

“I recall that,” replied Herman tearfully, “And again you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time.”

“All right,” Emma said. “So do you remember when you ran for president of the synagogue, and you needed 73 more votes to win?”

Our Second Wedding Anniversary My Life 07 NOV 2011

Today marks Chantelle and my second wedding anniversary, certainly something that ought to be celebrated considering just how much we have achieved in our lives over these past two years of wedded bliss – the two biggest being of course the fact that we’ve made, and are in the process of raising, a beautiful, bouncy baby girl, and of course our purchase of a house here in Gordon’s Bay, followed by the subsequent sinking in of countless hours in our attempts of turning it into OUR home, good and proper!

I can’t believe that it has been two years already Love, and honestly, the time is flying by far to quickly and I really do lament the fact that I only get to to spend two full weekends with you in a month, because quite frankly, there is no one else I’d rather be spending each and every hour of my waking day!

So thank you Wifey for making me the happiest husband and father in the world, and I sincerely look forward to the next year when I get to make these same soppy comments all over again! :)

Lots of love, from me to you.


Joke Factory: What’s Written on the Shirt? Jokes & other Funny Stuff 18 AUG 2011

A housework-challenged husband decided to wash his own t-shirt for the first time ever. So he disappeared into the washing room and promptly called out to his wife: “honey, what setting must I use on the washing machine to wash my shirt?”

The wife shouted back, “What does it say on the shirt dear?”

Shrugging his shoulders, the man replied, “University of Stellenbosch!”