Tag Archives: jeremy nell

Shoot Left! My Life 18 MAR 2008

JeremyLast night marked the final FIFA foursome featuring KJ versus RC, well at least for the time being as my flat has now steadily regressed to a point where basically there is nothing there besides a bed, table, TV and fridge and by the end of next week I’ll be sipping champagne on the beaches of Gordon’s Bay (when the police aren’t watching of course!), far removed from the confines of steadfast old Bellville.

The invite had gone out on late Friday afternoon, but eager beavers as they always are, Karl, Jeremy and Ryan all responded positively and come last night at 19:30, all four footballers were once more assembled, squatting all over my lounge. That said, we were almost a member short when in an attempt to get out of the evening’s fixture, Karl splashed some particularly nasty chemicals on his face during a lab experiment gone wrong, causing us all undue panic and despair. Luckily it would seem that Karl is too tough a cookie for just any chemicals to permanently damage his eyes and as such he was present and counted for, even though he would periodically rub his eyes, call his sight blurry and blame his Masters students for robbing him of yet another goal when he shot straight at the keeper – again.

Actually despite their small handicap (Karl’s eyes, not his shooting ability. Wait, maybe his shooting ability too), Jeremy and Karl were on song, managing to put most of the games close to 50-50% possession and bringing down the number of shots at goal that Ryan and I were able to pull off quite substantially. Heck, they even managed to open the evening’s proceedings by forcing a draw!

Unfortunately though that is pretty much where it ended and they seemed unable to go any further. Apart from that first draw, Ryan and I completely dominated the rest of the proceedings, easily winning game after game with a variety of well worked goals that Ryan didn’t hesitate to put in the back of the net. For some strange reason my playmaker skills were on fire last night, setting up goal after goal opportunity for Ryan to pounce on. And although I didn’t put as many in the back of the net as what Ryan did, I did score some sublime free kick goals that were more than enough to make the night a success for me. Of course, I do feel that I have to mention one particular hiding specifically where we had them by the short and curlies so bad that we were forced to abandon the game at 6-0 just to keep them from leaving for good!

Despite their dastardly tactics of trying to put me off by diverting my attention with tons of small talk, switching from England to another team and Jeremy sneakily moving the chips ever closer to me, Ryan and I managed to hold on and once more beat their pants off by the time the night’s festivities had ended – sorry guys, better luck next time! Though if I look at the number of empty packets of chips and cooldrink strewn around the flat, I am not exactly sure just who the eventual loser of the evening was…

Oh, and as an extra little warm-up bonus to the night’s activities, I also managed to get them all limbered up before the big game by getting them to help me take down a big rack box in the lounge! Thankfully we managed this without putting anyone’s eye out or dropping it on anybody’s foot. I think.

So that is that and FIFA Foursomes at 706 Antoon Benning are now officially closed. Hopefully we’ll organise a new venue in the future because as Jeremy puts it, this has been quite a fun way to de-stress in the evenings and have a good excuse to chow as many chips as a person’s stomach can hold!

Fantastico Football My Life 11 MAR 2008

RooneyAh, another night of fantastic four-way football had dawned upon us come Monday evening. After a hasty call to arms late Friday afternoon, the lads all responded favourably and come the end of the weekend, all four of us were once again hunkered down around my television, cooldrink and chips firmly within our grasp.

The increased threat level that Karl and Jeremy now bring to the table means that I can no longer pick teams by simply choosing a random colour (sorry Patricia) but instead Ryan is now left to choose decent enough teams to give us a fair chance against the might of Jeremy and Karl’s long ball England. That said, in a shocking first, Karl and Jeremy played the larger percentage of the evening with teams other than that of their trusty old red and white cross lads. In fact, it was only towards the end of the evening in the hopes of winning a game that the boys finally switched to their old stalwarts of Rooney and Owen.

That said and done, Ryan and I were truly on song last night. We did not lose or draw a single games, winning the majority of the games by at least a three goal margin (in fact the first three games were all won 4-1 in our favour) and only struggling a little in the last two or three outings when our fingers must have gotten a little greasy thanks to all the chips we were consuming.

Of course, it is not that Jeremy and Karl didn’t put up a decent fight mind you. They worked some exquisite goals, making good use of some nifty through passes as well as scoring a sublime free kick goal and an excellent header goal off a corner kick (the only goal to come off a corner in fact), and I am pretty sure that not a single game went by without them scoring at least one goal.

Unfortunately for them (and despite their tactic of keeping my attention off the games by making me chat throughout the night) Ryan had an absolute blinder of an evening, scoring a host of goals and setting up even more nifty chances for me to score off as well. Actually, I scored quite a number of glorious goals too I’ll let you know, it is just that all my good work was quickly undone by an absolute howler of an own-goal I managed to score, literally running the ball the length of the defensive square right into the back of my own net. Talk about embarrassing! (And for some or other reason Ryan wasn’t quite as impressed with my accuracy in that goal as what I was)

Feeling intimidated by the mounting losses, Karl tried to sneak off early, mumbling something about work and a curfew set by Patricia, which I promptly overthrew by calling Patricia up and asking her if we could hold on to Mr Storbeck for a little while longer. As it was, it turned out to be their best chance at winning or drawing a game for the evening as come 90 minutes we were neck and neck at 3 goals apiece. Thankfully though a complete and utter blunder by Jeremy in the dying seconds of the game saw me snatch up an easy loose ball and blast it home to take the game as the whistle blew! Sorry boys, better luck next time.

So for the first time in ages, Ryan and I can swagger proudly in the knowledge that at last we can claim to be unbeatable (until the next time of course!) As always, thanks to all the guys for showing and better luck next time – I suggest distracting me with Easter eggs just in case you guys are looking for a new strategy (Just ask Terrance how effective they are!)

And as is the norm, after K and J left, Ryan asked for a couple of quick games of FIFA 08 to cap the night off, which strangely enough, saw us score 7 goals in 3 games, a personal record for the two of us. Unfortunately for him though, he lost overall seeing that I took our first game 2-1 (the other two were both 1-1 draws). Maybe next time Ryan… or you could just try the Easter egg trick that I’ve just suggested to Karl and Jeremy! :P

Figure Four Football My Life 26 FEB 2008

FIFAWell, well, well. It is almost becoming a tradition now, but our bi-monthly four-man FIFA shoot out with Ryan, Karl, Jeremy and I does not seem to be showing signs of letting up any time soon!

Last night saw me hosting the boys again for our latest round in this epic tournament of blood, sweat, tears and potato chips and as per usual, it was an absolute goal fest of note. With each and every outing Karl and Jeremy are improving by leaps and bounds and last night was no exception, with them once again clinching their treasured single win as well as the first ever draw in this series. Hell, they were even as adventurous as to try playing with a team other than England for game, this time shooting for Germany (this didn’t last all that long though as after the first horrible hiding they quickly reverted back to old faithful England).

However, it is their skill in scoring goals that has alarmingly improved and this was easily shown up by the fact that Ryan wouldn’t abide by me selecting sides by picking a colour – instead he made sure that we stood a decent chance of thrashing the two upstarts by purposefully picking star-studded teams like Barcelona and Chelsea to put these two in their place.

Both sides scored some thrilling goals while there more than enough spectacular blunders from either side to keep everyone in stitches and the mood light enough so as to avoid bloodshed or overly sweaty controllers. The majority of the games were fairly tight, particularly to the middle of the evening, which was surprising considering that Ryan and I held the majority possession for all the games and were averaging well over 20 shots on goal per game! (Obviously we need to work on our aim a little if anything is to be read into that last stat if you ask me).

A first for the evening was something I’m pretty sure Karl and Jeremy don’t ever want repeated – we were forced to restart a game at half time after scoring an unbelievable 8 goals to their paltry, well, zero. Deciding that canned slaughter is never nice for anyone, we allowed them to change from England to Barcelona and although the follow up game was a little better from their perspective this time around, we still walked away with the win – again :)

As always tons of fun was to be had and everyone walked away from the night’s battling content and eager for the next round when hopefully we get to see even more brilliance from the dynamic duo of Mr Storbeck and Mr Nell as they continue to garner a little more polish with every outing!

After the two foreigners left for the evening, Ryan hunkered down and challenged me to some FIFA 08, probably to try and wrestle back the trophy after losing it to me on Sunday. Again, unfortunately for him, I managed to hold on come out the winner, winning 1 game out of the 2 game series (the other was a draw if the maths is puzzling you perhaps).

Don’t worry Ryan, and to quote the annoying announcer from the Dancing Stage series, “There is ALWAYS tomorrow!” ;)