Tag Archives: lawyer

Joke Factory: An Honest Lawyer? Jokes & other Funny Stuff 29 DEC 2012

An investment counsellor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. The investment banker began to interview young lawyers.

“As I’m sure you can understand,” she started off with one of the first applicants, “in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question.” She leaned forward. “Mr. Mayberry, are you an honest lawyer?”

“Honest?” replied the job prospect. “Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I’m so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case.”

“Impressive. And what sort of case was that?” asked the investment counsellor.

The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, “He sued me for the money.”

Joke Factory: Getting the Taste out of Your Mouth Jokes & other Funny Stuff 13 JUL 2012

Two young male lions were moving through the savannah when all of a sudden the one at the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the butt of the one in the front. The tiger in the lead yelps, turns around and says, “Hey, cut it out already!”

The other lion apologizes and the two of them continue on their way.

Five minutes later, the tiger at the rear once again reaches out with his tongue and licks the butt of the front lion. “Bloody Hell, stop with that this instant!” shouted the lead lion.

Once again the rear lion says he is sorry, and the two continue their journey.

Not five minutes later, and the rear lion once again reaches out and licks the front lion’s butt hole.

“Enough already! What’s with you, you idiot!” screams the front lion.

“Sorry, I’m really sorry. But I just ate a lawyer and I’m desperately trying to get the taste out of my mouth…”

A Few Steps Closer My Life 17 SEP 2009

Happily, our big day is finally getting close enough that you feel like you can almost reach out and touch it. The seventh of November is now well under two months away and as such we can once more pick up our organising hats in earnest.

As it is, tonight sees Chantelle and myself get the more unromantic part of getting married out of the way, by meeting up in Kuilsriver for an audience with lawyer Albert Marais in order to get all those nasty little prenuptial contracts and things like that out of the way.

Then there are all the RSVPs that have slowly but steadily been trickling in, and with about 10 days left to go, we’ve got 72 confirms and 7 declines out of a 108 in total, meaning that we’re still waiting on about 15 couples or so to get back to us. So all in all, not a bad response at all or so I’ve been told.

Chantelle should also be picking up her newly crafted wedding ring from the jeweller today sometime and we’ll be purchasing mine on the weekend, so that front is nicely covered too. Other than that, there is still the work with regards to little gift boxes, menus and place settings to be done, but outside of those, not all that much planning and organising remains.

Heck, even both of our leave for our honeymoon period has been granted already!

I’m telling you, with the help of my fanatical spreadsheet usage and Chantelle’s telephone and email communication prowess, this must one of the smoothest wedding preparations ever! :)

wedding bouquet lying on the ground