Tag Archives: old man

Joke Factory: Wash Your Hands Real Good Jokes & other Funny Stuff 01 JUL 2011

An elderly golfer comes in after a good round of golf at the new course and heads straight to the bar/restaurant area of the club house.

As he passes through the swinging doors, he spots a sign hanging over the bar that reads:

COLD BEER: R15.00
HAMBURGER: R20.00
CHEESEBURGER: R25.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH : R18.50
HAND JOB: R250.00

Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary money, the old golfer walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled golfers.

She glides down behind the bar to the old golfer.

“Yes?” she inquires with a wide, knowing smile. “May I help you Sir?”

The old golfer leans over the bar and whispers, “I was wondering young lady, are you the one who gives the hand-jobs around here?”

She looks into his wrinkled eyes and with a wide smile purrs, “Yes Sir, I sure am.”

The old golfer leans in even closer and into her left ear says softly, “Well then, be sure to really, really wash your hands real good, because I want a cheeseburger.”

Joke Factory: The Doctor needs a Sample Jokes & other Funny Stuff 06 MAY 2011

An elderly gentleman goes in for his annual check-up. The doctor finishes his examination and then beckons to the old man to join his wife who had accompanied him, back at his desk.

Sitting down, the doctor says, “So far everything looks fine. But I will need you to come back tomorrow with a urine sample, a poo sample and a sperm sample for me to run some further tests”.

The old man didn’t quite catch all of that, so he nudges his wife for the repeat.

The wife looks at her husband and says loudly to the doctor, “Don’t worry doctor, you will have them tomorrow.”

The old man looks quizzically as his wife, his unasked question still not answered.

Sensing this, the wife prompts in a loud voice, “He said, he wants me to bring a pair of your underpants in for him…”