So Sunday I went to play my first proper golf on a golf course. I’ve smacked a couple of balls around in my lifetime, been to the driving range once or twice, but this time it was the real thing. I had the golf shirt on and everything.

Ryan, pops and myself hit the back nine of the Bellville/Welgemoed golf course well Ryan and I hit more than just the golf course, but in essence or at least spirit I was meant to be playing on the Bellville course. Needless to say, I discovered one very important thing whilst hitting on the driving range you are merely smashing the ball as far as possible without regard for distance or line on a golf course the idea is to get the stupid little ball going towards the annoying little flag that theyve seemingly randomly placed miles away from where you start off from. And unlike putt putt, there are no handy side walls to keep your ball from going off course. And then there are these giant sandy patches where some Sasquatch has ripped the grass out from and to which balls are magnetically attracted. Water also seems to affect ball movement as well. (Well at least I didnt hit a house like Ryan managed to)

Ernie ElsNeedless to say, Ernie Els has nothing to fear from me. And although I struggled to get the little white ball into the hole, I did however enjoy the experience. It was very much like a combined piata fest and easter egg hunt. Youd swing your stick, which if you actually connected properly, would lead to you scurrying off to all manner of trees and shrubs in the vain hope of finding your prize.

I also got reminded where I get my stupid silliness/idiocy/humour from. After smacking a ball well out of the course bounds, pops hands me a replacement ball which I gratefully accepted (I was borrowing their stuff in any way). The ball looked a little strange, but I happily accepted the fact that they werent going to keep wasting their good balls on me. So teeing it up, stepping back and wiggling my arse, I launched into a vicious assault on the little ball. A beautiful swing and connect. And a very surprising explosion of chalk dust *grumble* *grumble* stupid exploding trick ball

Anyway, I’m definitely going to be doing this golf thing much more often. I hear theres money in this sport – dredged balls from the lake can fetch a quite nice price