UCTOoh it pisses me off at the UCT sharks that come out to play every year this time for UCT Summer School season. UCT undergoes a whole …fake’ image upgrade every time which lasts a couple of weeks before it slinks back into its old decrepit, stoic, academic self.

Whenever UCT wants to impress or hold a function, believe it or not, the first thing that gets wheeled out from storage is the pot plants. Ferns, shrubs and trees are all dusted off and then strategically placed around the gathering areas to give off an air of natural beauty and tranquillity. These plants then stay in place for the duration of the function and then mysteriously disappear overnight, silently trucked back to their dark little hole from whence they had appeared from.

Also, UCT’s signage magically quadruples overnight, rendering it quite a feat to become lost anywhere on campus. However, just as with the plants, all this extra signage too disappears at the break of the next dawn. Where does it come from and where does it go to? No one seems to know’

Of course, Summer School is characterised by UCT being overrun by old people in their hundreds, all eager to pick up some useless little course that is designed simply to entertain them and steal their money – which UCT lecturers seem quite adept at doing. It is a simple system indeed. A lecturer decides he/she wants to host a course on some or other pointless topic, they register their little course with the central Summer School office and then go off and do their thing – pocketing loads of cash for their back pocket in the process.

Even worse, the price of food all over campus seems to mysteriously double in price for this period as well, only returning to normal levels once the last of the …silver hairs’ disappear from campus.

Truly UCT is the land of the opportunist!

You may want to note that this rant is courteous of the exorbitant amount of money I was extorted for in the purchase of one little muffin to quell my craving. Next time, I’ll have to break my piggy bank :(