You have always got to love these horrendously embarrassing stories when they make the news, and this one straight out of China last week is a perfect example of why men can’t be trusted to stay single forever – they humiliate public property.

Hong Kong, and a “lonely and disturbed” man had to call police to try and free him after his penis got stuck in a bench he had apparently tried to have sex with.

Emergency workers took four hours trying to free Mr. Le Xing after he attempted to use a hole in the exercise bench to masturbate in a deserted park after dark. However, initial rescue attempts failed (including trying to free him by draining blood from his penis – ouch!) and they had to take him to hospital with the bench’s 2.5m long metal base still attached to his unfortunate member.

Apparently the operation was a success and Xing is now back on the streets with his penis still intact… but unfortunately the bench didn’t quite make it.

So girls, if you love your park furniture, please consider doing a public service and hooking up with any lonely single men you might come across.

Pretty please?

Park Bench