Medieval KnightThis quaint bedside story has a nice moral to it I feel…

The Itch

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, in a kingdom far, far away, there lived an extremely beautiful Queen endowed with an extremely voluptuous bosom. Celebrated Sir Lancelot the Slayer fantasized and obsessed over this plentiful bosom, despite however knowing the penalty for this forbidden desire of his… the touch of Death so to speak.

However, nothing ventured, nothing gained, and so Sir Lancelot came up with an idea.

Calling the council of his trusted colleague Horatio, Chief Physician and doctor to the King, Lancelot laid out his problem before him. Mulling over the situation, Horatio came up with a brilliant plan that would no doubt satiate Lancelot’s desire, but at the cost of 1,000 gold coins to arrange it.

Of course, Lancelot was more than eager at the prospect and quickly agreed to Horatio’s price, leaving the physician and allowing him to get on with it then.

The next day Horatio cooked up a batch of his special itching powder and deposited a little bit of it into the Queen’s bra while she bathed. Unaware of the plot against her, the Queen got dressed and almost immediately the invasive itching commenced, growing more and more intense with each and every scratch.

Quickly Horatio was summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident and after hearing about the “dilemma”, Horatio informed the worried King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this abominable type itch. As luck would have it, previous tests had indicated that the celebrated Sir Lancelot the Slayer does in fact possess such saliva, and that if used, this would undoubtedly cure the Queen’s little problem.

The fretting King, eager to help his Queen in need, immediately summoned Lancelot to their chambers and on the way in Horatio quietly slipped Lancelot the antidote for the itching powder which was then surreptitiously placed in his mouth.

For the next four hours Lancelot was in sheer heaven, passionately working on the Queen’s ample and magnificent breasts, until eventually he arose, his desire sated and the Queen’s itching stopped, stepped out from the chambers and was hailed as a hero by all those waiting outside.

Back at his own quarters, Lancelot found Horatio demanding his payment of the promised 1,000 gold coins. However, his obsession now quelled, Lancelot couldn’t have cared less and knowing that Horatio would never dare reveal his involvement in this plot to the King, he simply laughed in Horatio’s face and told him to clear off…

…which is exactly why the next day Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same batch of itching powder into the King’s underwear.

Needless to say, the King immediately summoned Sir Lancelot…

So the moral of the story… ALWAYS pay your bills! ;)