Woman in the ShowerHow to shower like a Woman:

– Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
– Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
– If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
– Look at your womanly physique in the mirror – make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
– Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
– Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
– Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean.
– Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit.
– Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
– Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
– Rinse conditioner off hair.
– Shave armpits and legs.
– Turn off shower.
– Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
– Spray mold spots with Tilex.
– Get out of shower and stand on bathmat.
– Dry with towel the size of a small country.
– Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
– Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
– If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How to shower like a Man:

– Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
– Walk naked to the bathroom.
– If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the ‘woo-woo’ sound.
– Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
– Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
– Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
– Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
– Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
– Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
– Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
– Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
– Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bathmat.
– Dry off forearms and butt only.
– Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
– Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off.
– Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
– Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
– If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the ‘woo-woo’ sound again.
– Throw wet towel on bed.


Well I really only have one thing to say then: Woo Woo! :D