“Kicks, Flicks, and Chicks”. Oh dear, what a terrible, terrible channel DSTV has deemed fit to shove upon us unsuspecting, paying subscribers, nestling it in at spot 129 in our channels list. BlackBelt TV bills itself as a 24/7 martial arts television network, which in theory could actually be quite a great thing, until you actually take a look at the programming that we get over on this side of the pond.

mma grapple headlock takedown

Flicks are mostly made up of what seems to be hundreds of truly horrendously bad Chinese, American and Hong Kong kung fu action movies, all from the late 70’s and 80’s. So nothing worth mentioning there. The kicks are made up of 90% MMA fights, which as we all know by now is actually pretty boring to watch once it goes to the ground – which is pretty much 99% of the time! Outside of that, the only other fights they seem to screen is kickboxing, meaning variety isn’t exactly the name of the game here. And then don’t forget the fact that because most of this stuff is pretty amateur, visuals are for the most part poor for a good chunk of this stuff.

And then there is the ridiculous Chicks. BlackBelt TV couldn’t possibly get any more sleazier it would seem, basically throwing as many good looking women in as skimpy as possible outfits in front of the screen as what they can possibly find. Even poor Don “The Dragon” Wilson has to show off his move of the day against a skinny blonde girl in shorts and a crop top!

Rockin' Raquel Pomplun on BlackBelt TV green screen set

Verdict? It’s bad, very bad. Avoid unless you have an affinity for old kung fu movies. (Which as it turns out, I don’t).