Tag Archives: cat

GIF: Definitive Proof that Cats don’t like Yoga Jokes & other Funny Stuff 05 JUL 2013

Without a doubt, definitive proof that cats don’t particularly care much for yoga. Or anyone doing yoga for that matter.

As this poor woman found out the particularly painful way.


cat scratching yoga woman in pussy

This animated GIF serves as a reminder that cats really are out to kill you given the chance. (That’s why I gave my two away.)

If you’re still not quite following me, The Oatmeal probably explains this best in his classic (and rather famous) Internet cartoon:

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Goodbye Olympus My Life 07 FEB 2013

craig lotter with olympus the catLast night was pretty cool in that Retha and Miguel came over to visit, this being the first time that Miguel has set foot in South Africa after a long 2 year absence! The four of us took Jessie out for some sun-downer Spur, before heading home for coffee and some of Chantelle’s delicious baked cheesecake as dessert. However, this wasn’t the only reason that last night kind of stood out: for the first time in nearly 5 years, there was no familiar bundle of fur lying on the couch or waiting to greet us outside, no meowing as supper time approached, and no bowls of water and pellets littering the kitchen floor.

Yes, we are finally cat free – at long last Olympus has found a new home! :)

We first got Olympus as a kitten (together with Coco) way back in June 2008, and up until Jessica was born two and a bit years ago, he was a central part of our little family. Unfortunately though, as responsibilities piled up and both Chantelle and I got more and more busy, he started to become more of a nuisance than an asset and a while back we made the decision that should we run into any loving homes that would take our cats off of our hands, then we’d happily give them away.

Of course with Achilles having such a soft spot in Monty’s heart, it was no wonder that we managed to get rid of him pretty quickly, but it was a different story with Olympus. However, that all finally changed when one of the girls at the Sacred Ground Deli in Franschhoek learned that we were trying to give away our cat, and seeing as she lives alone, loves animals and really, really could do with some feline company, it just seemed like the perfect match.

So anyway, Chantelle made the kitty transfer on Wednesday afternoon and so far we haven’t gotten a call demanding to take him back, or to tell us that he’s run away, so all’s well that ends well then I guess.


Well, I’m sure Chantelle will get more feedback on how the kitty transfer is going during her next delivery to Franschhoek this week anyway (tomorrow funnily enough), but so far I must say that I am yet to miss the furry little critter. As it turns out, it doesn’t seem like Jess has spotted him missing either. Only Chantelle reckons she misses him a little, which just goes to show, I’m obviously not much of a pet person any more…

So yes, goodbye adorable Mr. Olympus, thank you for all the love you’ve shown us over the years and sorry that we couldn’t quite return it in the end. Nevertheless, I am sure you’ll enjoy all the love, care and attention that your new owner will provide – which she’d better do unless she likes the prospect of having dead “presents” delivered to her bedroom door!

Braai Room Fun (or why Olympus is not Impressed with Us) My Life 12 SEP 2012

Although we kind of put the brakes on all our interior decorating desires for the house ages ago, I must say that the addition of the furry carpet in the braai room has really turned it from being a bit of an unused white elephant into Jessica’s and my personal playground.

Jessica watching Shaun the Sheep

(This could of course largely be attributed to the fact that the front half of the braai room is now officially regarded as Jessica’s playroom – basically all the toys are stored there these days!)

So apart from the rather obvious braais and usage of the area as a storage locale for all Chantelle’s baking ingredients, Jessica and I use the braai room to:

a) watch Shaun the Sheep and Timmy Time
b) read books together (and by read I mean page through books)
c) play xbox (and wrestle the controller away from Jessica)
d) press every conceivable button available
c) play with the Lego blocks
d) torture Olympus the cat
e) braai (funnily enough)

In any event, there really isn’t much of a point to this particular post – I merely needed an excuse to post these two pictures of Olympus looking not so amused with Daddy and Jessica! :)

Olympus being not particularly impressed with Jessica and myself

Trying to play it nonchalant, despite the two rather colorful rings that have been placed on his unsuspecting tail

Needless to say, those two pictures make this entire post worth it. Of course, I’ll throw in a random braai photo just to make this whole thing that little more legit:


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Joke Factory: Hairy Pussy Cat Jokes & other Funny Stuff 07 SEP 2012

A sexually frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to reignite the spark that will hopefully resurrect her long dead sex life.

Arriving back home, she tries them on under a short skirt and then heads down to the lounge where she sits down on the sofa opposite her husband, who is busy reading the evening newspaper.

Every now and then, at strategic moments, she uncrosses her legs, eventually leading to her husband looking up, raising his eyebrow, and asking quizzically, “Are you wearing crotchless panties my dear?”

Smiling, she seductively half-whispers, “Yes – why does it turn you on?”

“Whew,” replied the husband. “For a minute there I thought you’d been sitting on top of the cat for the last twenty minutes!”

According to the coroner, he never heard the gunshot.

Joke Factory: Licking Your Balls Jokes & other Funny Stuff 04 AUG 2012

Paddy and Mike were strolling down the street when they came upon a cat lying next to the road and licking his groin clean, as cats usually tend to do.

“Boy,” said Mike, “I sure wish that I could do that.”

Paddy replies, “Yup, wouldn’t mind that either, but I for one sure as heck wouldn’t try it!”

“Oh? Why not?” asked Mike.

“Well for one thing, I’m pretty sure he’ll scratch and bite!”

Joke Factory: Fire Trucks should always come with a Siren Jokes & other Funny Stuff 01 JUN 2012

A fireman is polishing his fire engine outside the fire station when he notices a young girl coming down the street in a little red cart with little ladders hung on the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. She is wearing a fireman’s helmet and has the cart tied to both a dog and a cat.

Playing the part, the fireman walks over to take a closer look.

“That’s a lovely fire engine,” he says admiringly.

“Thank you sir,” replies the little girl.

The fireman takes a closer look and happens to notice that the little girl has tied one of the cart’s strings to the dog’s collar and the other to the cat’s testicles.

“Little colleague,” says the fireman, “I don’t want to tell you how to run your fire engine, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat’s collar, I think you could probably go a lot faster.”

The little girl pauses for a moment, looks at the wagon, at the dog and at the cat, then shyly looks into the fireman’s eyes and says, “You’re probably right, but then I wouldn’t have a siren, now would I?”

Jessica’s Kitty Cat Cake Jessica | My Life 21 NOV 2011

My wife can bake. Really, she can bake. And this is a good thing, a very, very good thing. For you see, it makes birthday parties awesome. And in particular, we now know that it makes kiddie parties awesome. Behold the most awesome, cutest cake you have ever laid eyes on – Jessica’s Kitty Cat Cake!

Loosely based on a recipe book design and constructed for Jessie’s 1st birthday party, the Kitty Cat Cake is made of a sculpted chocolate box cake interior, covered in decadent orange-colored butter icing with decorative piping, added detail with yellow butter icing, complemented by liquorice cuttings and a wine gum for a nose, and finished off with a sour fruit strip as the collar/ribbon. The grass is green coconut, and the entire cake board is bordered in delectable green-colored butter icing.

Truly, truly a delicious masterpiece, an absolute work of art, and most important of all, something Chantelle can be very, very proud of! Well done love, you’ve really outdone yourself this time! :)

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Adios Achilles! My Life 02 NOV 2011

Some might have accused us of celebrating last night. However, this is not true. What is true is that every second Tuesday Chantelle is on an early shift, meaning that when the clock strikes 17:00, we can shoot out to pick up Jessica and then have a full 2 hours before we have to be back in time for the bedtime routine! And so, last night we decided to spend that time at Spur – which was nice (but expensive, which is a pity because Spur never used to be equated with pricey. So much for an affordable family restaurant!).

Anyway, Chantelle had the Surf and Turf followed by a Chocolate Brownie, while I gobbled down my usual tasty Bacon, Cheese and Gaucamole burger. Jessica just sat there looking cute… and chomped down on whatever could be brought close to her mouth – which is especially cute now that the first of her top teeth are out, meaning our little girl now has three chompers available for use!

So what might we have been accused of celebrating then?

Well certainly we could have been celebrating the fact that Chantelle discovered a fix to the oven which cost us nothing and hence saves me R3,000 in terms of buying a new unit (our interested buyer was needless to say, not impressed when we broke this news to them). Or we could be celebrating the first month in which adverts run across my sites finally resulted in some decent money being paid into my bank account. However, we would most likely be accused of celebrating the fact that Tuesday evening saw us bid farewell to our loveable ginger, Achilles the cat, as we gave him away to Chantelle’s folks – for good.

Rest assured, this was not the case. No, no, not the giving away part. Rather, that we were not celebrating the loss of Achilles, but merely enjoying a rare bit of time together. Completely coincidental.

Anyway, so now that those accusing us have been placated, I can get on with explaining why we took such a drastic step of giving away one of our cats, and why we are still in the process of looking for a new home for the second one.

The fact of the matter is that since the arrival of Jessica as part of our family, we simply have been devoting ZERO time to either of the cats, meaning that a year down the line, they have been pretty much completely starved of any sort of love or affection whatsoever. Of course this is certainly not fair on them, but unfortunately that is just how it is – Jessie really is the center of our lives these days.

In the same breadth, the cats have started to annoy us, always underfoot, always looking for attention, always getting in everywhere where they aren’t wanted, and always getting their fur, fleas and ticks everywhere! In other words, they are annoying us by just being… cats. Again, not fair on them at all. And of course, all of this means that they are just escalating their attempts to gain affection from us, which in turn just annoys us more, leading to a vicious circle which can only end badly down the line.

So after a long discussion, Chantelle and I decided that the fair thing to do would be to try and find a new home for the cats, or at a minimum for at least one of the cats. Luckily for us, Achilles is hugely popular with whomever comes into contact with him, and when we mentioned our plan, Monty quickly snapped him up, meaning that as of last night, we now only have one feline roaming the halls…

So adios Achilles, you’ve been a fantastic member of our little family up until now, and hopefully you’ll enjoy your new home with the folks. In any event, I’ll probably see you every second weekend anyway, so it’s not like we’ll never meet again…

Oh, and please don’t chase away Monty’s two other cats or kills all their pigeons – well, at least not on the first day!

Pussy in Unexpected Places My Life 10 AUG 2011

Ah Achilles the cat, how you annoy me so. There are however times when you don’t annoy me and I find you cute and adorable, for example, when you are not under my feet, not constantly rubbing yourself all over me, and not stealing my defrosting chicken.

And thus, in no particular order whatsoever, I provide some visual proof of these moments to you, my loyal and faithful readers.

1) Keeping the microwave warm and safe from all would be invaders. 2) Ensuring a tiny Jessica is kept safe from attack via any miscreants that might be lurking in the area. 3) Keeping my hand away from my bedtime books and/or tissues, obviously with the intention of making sure I get some much needed sleep.

Thank you my boy, I appreciate a pussy in these unexpected and often tight spaces.