My dad’s mom, my last remaining grandparent, passed away at the start of this year. She was 82. As is now the tradition, I was asked to deliver the eulogy at the memorial service, and in an effort to preserve it online for myself, this is what I said…
Beatrice Elaine Lötter (20/04/1935 – 04/01/2018) – Memorial 10 January 2018
Thank you for all being here today. We are gathered here in remembrance and to pay our respects to Beatrice Elaine Lötter, who most of you would have known as Bea, to some of us as Granny Lotter, and to even fewer still, as Mom.
For those of you who don’t know, Gran hails from the Eastern Cape, having grown up in Bathurst before moving on to Grahamstown where she pursued a career as a theater nurse. It was there where she met and started seriously courting my grandfather (and his motorbike), himself a nurse who specialised in working at psychiatric wards.
Following Grandpa’s various postings, the two of them jumped around between Grahamstown, Queenstown and our very own Bellville, with a small family jump-started somewhere in between. Having come from a big family, and now with four boisterous boys to take care of herself, Gran would eventually step back from the nursing profession and move on to being a full time home-maker, as she and Grandpa dove headfirst into quiet suburban life.
Jumping forward in time to 1983, Granny and Grandpa finally settled back in Bellville (shortly after my birth), thereby becoming permanent fixtures in our upbringing – so much so that I still have very fond memories of them playing games with us kids and cards with my folks twice a week, every week, for pretty much forever – first Wednesday evening at our house and then Friday evening at theirs!
Gran and Grandpa had an immense love for the outdoors, and they were almost constantly away for weekends in either their trusty Autovilla or caravan (of which they had many!), spending many of those weekends away in the company of their beloved Tygerberg Caravan Club compatriots. My siblings and I often got a chance to join them on these adventures, which if I remember right were always an absolute blast – probably because gran was known for always making sure that there was always some sort of sweet treat on hand!
In terms of loves, Gran absolutely adored playing games (cards, jukskei and bowls I can definitely remember as favourites) and watching sports – particularly if a national team was involved. She loved watching the cricket in particular – basically, if the Proteas were playing a game then you could always ring her up and be of getting an accurate match update!
Gran was perhaps a natural worrier, but more importantly, she was always willing to lend a hand and step in to serve wherever, and whenever, she was needed. She was always involved, always on some or other committee. She loved her garden, she loved her sports, she loved her kids, she loved her grandkids, and she loved her great grandkids.
And as such, we’ll miss her. Her friends at Eden Park will miss her. Her friends in the Presbyterian church will miss her. We family will miss her.
Hopefully, with the pain finally gone and perhaps now in the company of her loved ones gone before her, Bea can well and truly be in peace.
Two weekends ago we were out and about on the Saturday furniture shopping (Chantelle was working, so it was during her split), a completely pointless task if you have a toddler and a four year old tagging along, because invariably they quickly get bored and you end up being more busy getting them to stop touching things than actually looking at the furniture and making a decision!
Needless to say, we didn’t buy any furniture. (Though I do think that I may have spotted the lounge table I’m quite interested in buying. Plus, I continue to shudder at the thought of just how much money Poco must be losing in that horribly located new megastore of theirs… yeah, not so sure about that one.)
Anyway, in the end, we settled for a nice coffee break and play time with the kids at Mondeor Restaurant instead:
We don’t get to see my Mom and Dad that often, so it was quite a nice surprise to get a phone call from them asking if they could pop in for a visit on Sunday. Instead, I suggested that they join us earlier for a nice Sunday afternoon braai, which pleasingly they accepted.
Needless to say, Jessica was particularly thrilled to have Grandpa and Granny around for the day in her own backyard! :)
And although we kind of forgot to take some nice pictures on a Sunday well spent, I thought it worth including these couple that I got when we popped in at Mom’s house a week or so earlier when we were in the area (Dad and Ryan were out playing golf):
So yeah, always nice when the family drop by here in our little corner of the woods! :)
Back in April this year, much of the Lotter clan assembled at Mom and Dad’s house in Oakglen to celebrate Dad’s mom, Granny Lotter’s big 80th birthday. We were blessed that the weather was particularly great on the day, thus making for a perfect braai and relax outdoor afternoon (which everyone seemed to enjoy).
Our immediate family clan is actually relatively small. Mom’s parents only had two kids, Mom and her brother Stephen, and Stephen, who has since passed on, never had any children so no cousins there. Dad’s parents had four boys, though one tragically passed away quite early on, leaving us with three Lotter men. From uncle Michael’s side we got Willie (and now his family) as a cousin, and from uncle Eric’s side, we got Andrew and David as cousins.
Sadly though, through some convoluted and ultimately bad decisions, no one sees Eric, Dawn, Andy and David any more (so scratch them from family get togethers), and funnily enough, we seldom see uncle Michael and pretty much never Willie either, meaning that for the most part, the immediate family pool remains pretty tiny!
Nevertheless, as I was saying earlier, Gran’s big 80th birthday (the celebration of which took a bit of convincing from Dad’s side to happen) saw quite a good chunk of this little family pitch up at Mom’s door – Claire, Riley and their two boys, Wille, his wife and two kids, Uncle Mike and his wife, Mom and Dad, Ryan, birthday girl Gran, and of course us four Gordon’s Bay Lotters.
A nice little tally indeed!
Needless to say, there was a lot of catching up to be done and conversation to be had, and with good food and dessert flowing freely, and kids all seemingly happily playing along, it turned out to be quite a good little family get together.
Of course, we couldn’t keep all the little faces rounded up all day (or Claire and Riley’s dogs either for that matter), which inevitably meant a hop across the street at some point in the afternoon – over to the big municipal park that had entertained us for so, so many hours as kids growing up there.
Naturally, Emily was more than just a little thrilled to tackle climbing up this massive slide! (And as you can see, Grandpa seemed to quite enjoy the challenge as well…)
Next up in terms of big birthday milestones?
Well both mom and dad are inching pretty close to that big 6 and 0 number nowadays… :)
Sadly, my mom’s mom, my Gran, passed away recently. I was asked to say something at the memorial and in an effort to preserve it online, this is what I said.
Iona Ray Bothma (1930 – 2013) – Memorial 19 April 2013
Thank you for all coming today. We’re gathered here in remembrance and to pay our respect to Iona Ray Bothma, who some of you would have known as Iona, others as Mom, and to me and my brother and sister, Granny Sedgefield.
Gran was born in Hanover in the Karoo, though most of her schooling years took place in George where she spent the majority of her childhood. Then it was off to Cape Town where she would eventually meet and fall in love with my grandfather Stefanus, and from there it was life in the Northern Suburbs for them, where they were eventually blessed with two wonderful children, Stephen and Cheryl. Finally it was off on retirement to Sedgefield, which is the part of their lives which we grandchildren associate with the most, hence the moniker of Granny and Grandpa Sedgefield, which to this day remains the way Ryan, Claire and I refer to them.
We spent pretty much every holiday and long weekend travelling up to Sedgefield to visit with our grandparents and it was there that we were spoiled and loved, and truly experienced Granny’s remarkable kindness and empathy, her genuine interest in and love for all her family.
She was a home-maker good and proper, with a huge love for her sewing and knitting, for her gardening, and of course her two little furry doggy companions, Piaf and Chloe. Together she and grandpa were without a doubt the highlight of our lives as children when away from home, always ready with a surprise present, or a delicious snack, or just that much needed hug and cuddle.
Eventually old age caught up with them and they moved back down to Cape Town, and joined the “family” here at Eden Park, where funnily enough, my father’s parents had also moved in. Sadly though, my grandfather took ill and passed away (almost ten years ago now) which was of course a terrible blow to my grandmother, but who instead of just giving up, silently soldiered on, long enough for both my sister Claire and her husband, and myself and my wife to present to her her great grandchildren, Devon and Jessica.
One of the first (and most striking) things that comes up whenever you talk to friends or acquaintances about Gran is the incredible level of thoughtfulness she had when dealing with people, that incredible patience and kindness she showed to everyone, a quality which without a doubt defined her very being.
And it truly is sad to lose a person like that.
The only solace we as family can take from her passing is that she did touch a lot of people with her kindness over the years, and more importantly, is now finally at rest, reunited with her beloved Stefanus and Stephen in heaven.
We will miss you terribly Gran, but we can rest assured that you are smiling down upon us and for that, we are grateful.
A couple of weekends ago I entertained myself (Chantelle was on duty) by taking Jessica out for the day to Bellville and Kuilsriver, with the express purpose of squeezing in visits with all the family that I could manage, making sure to grab a photo of each and every encounter.
My first stop was with Great Granny Bothma, who wasted no time in joining Jessica down on the floor, where the two of them spent some quality for the next while, during which I caught up on news, changed a nappy, showed off Jess to all the neighbours, and enjoyed a nice cup of coffee with snacks.
Next up was Great Granny Lotter, who immediately grabbed Jessie from me and proceeded to hold on to her for just about the entire duration of the visit, in which I caught up on news, prepared a bottle, and enjoyed a nice cup of coffee with snacks!
From there it was on to Granny and Grandpa Lotter, who weren’t at home when we arrived, meaning that I ended up feeding Jessica in the car. As per usual Grandpa quickly latched on to young Jess once they finally made it home, and outside of some great quality time spent with Granny and Grandpa, Jessie caught a nap, we had lunch, and of course, caught up on all the news!
With enough time left in the day for just one more visit, it was off to Granny and Grandpa Montgomery, who also instantly latched onto young Jess, pretty much taking over and affording my a moment to quickly pop out to the shops – after all the news was caught up on, coffee had, and the obligatory baby nap taken!
So really not bad for a full day’s worth of visiting with the family, wouldn’t you say? ;)
An elderly grandfather was sitting on the edge of his bed, busy removing his socks.
All of a sudden, his wife of fifty years came running naked down the passage, burst into the room, and leapt into the air and onto the bed, arms outstretched and screaming “Super Pussy!!!!” as she came down.
This weekend we got our visiting groove back on, despite the fact that Chantelle was called in to work to take care of Saturday night dinner and Sunday morning breakfast on what was supposed to be her off weekend. Oh well, what can one do, at least we got some leftovers out of the deal, meaning that she hasn’t had to cook on Monday or Tuesday evening thus far! :)
Whilst Friday evening was more about playing with Jessie, taking a break from our eating plan that we’ve been on for some time now (with some delicious home made chips and burgers in case you were wondering), and of course watching violent animated fare in the form of Hulk vs. Wolverine and Hulk vs. Thor, Saturday was a completely different kettle of fish as we made our way through to Bellville, in separate cars (oh woe is my pocket), after dealing with all the usual wonderful Saturday morning chores.
Taking full advantage of the beautiful weather we had been blessed with, I joined Robert at Wagner’s Golf Academy for a round of 18 on their little mashie course (more on this later), while Chantelle and Jessie enjoyed brunch with Oupa and Ouma. Of course, she had to leave for Gordon’s Bay early afternoon already, but with Jessica safely in the care of Monty and Cheryl, I took advantage of the eager babysitters and popped in for a solo visit with Ryan (where I also caught the Bulls vs Western Province game for good measure). With the day pretty much done, it was then time for Jessie and I to make the long trip home (with a quick stop at the KFC drive-through seeing as Chantelle would only be home much, much later), followed by the whole baby bedtime routine.
Sunday kicked off with a bath for the snot-covered, sleepy-eyed Jessie whilst Chantelle was back at work on breakfast duty, followed by another lock up of Country Mews as we made our way through to Bellville (again), though at least it was in one car this time around! :)
First stop was to Granny and Grandpa’s house, seeing as they had signed on for their very first babysitting gig, and after a whirlwind round of instructions and reassurances, it was off to Monty and Cheryl’s pad (who had been usurped as the day’s babysitters thanks to the early morning SMS plea from Mom and Dad) to pick up Zania’s birthday gifts which we had left with them on Saturday.
After that whirlwind stop, it was back on the N1 as we made our way up to Dean and Zania’s pad in Kraaifontein, with me driving for a change but still completely lost as all Hell (thank goodness for Chantelle’s sense of direction I tell you)! There it was a get together of all the friends (Damen and Michelle, Evan and Natasha, Karl-Heinz and Trish, Ryan, and of course the hosts Dean, Zania and little Zandea), paired with copious amounts of nibbles, cake and tart, one broken plate courtesy of my buttocks (apparently), and of course two guinea pigs, one of which made it out of the cage and into the awaiting arms of Karl, who seems to have some sort of a connection with furry animals (or at least one which I have now just made up).
One of Dean and Zania's furry critters...
It was an excellent catch up session with everyone, though we did eventually have to say our goodbyes and sneak out, hitting a dog with our car in the process, before we managed to even exit the complex! As for the dog(?), it appeared from nowhere, ran into/under our car, and then sprinted off again, so no idea how it is doing (or what it even is – didn’t see it!), though by the sound of the impact, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it is now dead. So not a great thing to happen, no.
Anyway, not dwelling on that unfortunate incident, we then headed back down to Bellville, where we proceeded to fit in a quality visit with Granny and Grandpa, who by all accounts had thoroughly enjoyed their day with Jessica, which had even included a long pram stroll with Dad around the neighbourhood and a visit from the pair of Great Grannies to boot! Of course, this being a Sunday evening meant that Chantelle simply had to have Idols running in the background (The Soap Girls? Seriously, did anyone see that one coming?), which really wasn’t all that much of a bad thing when you take into the consideration the leftover snoek snackwiches that Dad prepared for us for supper to go along with it!
And that was pretty much that, back home and beddy-time for the lot of us Lotters, bringing to an end what was simply a great weekend of friends, family and cake.
A grandmother was tasked with taking her eager young grandson to partake in his first ever karate tournament. On arriving, the granny noted that the tournament organiser appeared rather understaffed, and so approached the main officials’ table.
“Good morning,” she said to the tournament director, “you look a little short-handed. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Well yes, we are short of fighters for the under 90 kg division,” the director replied.
“Sorry,” the grandmother said, “but I really don’t know anything about karate.”
“That’s okay then,” said the directory without batting an eyelid.
A couple of Sundays ago we were treated to a visit from Mom and Pops, something we hadn’t had for quite a while now. They were quite keen to come and catch up with little Jessica and see the various changes we had made to the house, and even though the chance of seeing Chantelle was pretty slim as she was working on the day, they came through anyway.
As it turned out though, the bosses let Chantelle slip out early and so it was the four of us who could sit down, catch up on all the gossip come late afternoon, and enjoy the yummy mint lammingtons and lemon meringue tartlets that Chantelle had scrounged up for us to partake in.
Of course, as the clock kept ticking, the stay kept extending, and by the time Mom and Dad did eventually say their goodbyes, a good six hours had passed and in that time we had munched on the aforementioned snacks, scoffed down boerewors rolls for supper, drank copious amounts of coffee and cooldrink, enjoyed pancakes for dessert, and thoroughly enjoyed watching Bug’s Life together.
Oh, and looked after Jessie of course! ;)
Anyway, the reason I tell you this is because of the fantastic set of photos Mom and Dad captured of little Jessie, some of which Mom put up on Facebook already. The rest, well the rest I’ll get off Dad’s PC once he finally gets around to cleaning that Conficker virus off his machine!
But in the meantime, here’s a sample of some of the shots they got…
